The Emasculation of the Modern Male

20 Mar

“Males are scumbags, males cheat, males always think about sex, males are heartless, males don’t care enough, males aren’t empathetic or sympathetic, males are rapists, males are pedophiles, males are violent, males discriminate, chivalry  is dead.”

These are messages often pervade in the media and even worse they are openly stated by women. I am sick of turning on morning television to hear 3 haggard and divorced 50 somethings complain how awful men are. The amount of times I have seen and heard ‘male bashing’ by women is astounding. It seems that if you are female you can make gross generalizations about the male gender and make derogatory statements without any regard for the discriminatory nature of the statements you are making. There is an assumed right  to discriminate, or demonise men. How do they get away with their discriminatory comments? If three men sat there complaining about women I doubt it would go to air.

Up until recently I would ignore statements like, ‘men are pigs’,  ‘men are all shallow’, ‘men are untrustworthy’, ‘men are sexist’. If I publicly made the same sweeping generalizations about women I would be branded a misogynist or a sexist.  This misandry and male bashing is out of control and the worst part is you have a lot of the male population believing this bullshit.

 ‘ oh yes we are terrible, we do stare too much, we are sexist, we don’t open doors enough, I should have paid on the first date’.

Enough of the self deprecation. I take exception to being bundled in with the scum. It is offensive and ignorant.

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Gross generalisations and gender profiling has increased scrutiny on males and seen a rapid decline of men in certain professions. Teaching is a perfect example. The huge imbalance of male to female school teachers (especially primary school) is of massive concern.

Where are the male role models?

If the tables were turned the up roar would be huge. Inequality would be screamed from the highest tower. But all I can see is the next generation of men and women growing up without any male authority figures to relate to, empathize with or interact with. From a young child’s perspective a women represents trust and safety and a man a represents distrust and danger. The growing distrust of men in society must have a negative affect on how  young children perceive men.  Also what effect does this have on a young males’ self esteem if all he sees is reinforced negative male stereotypes. The world we currently live in demonises all men in the hope that in this sweeping generalistaion we protect children from the evil 1 percent. The problem is the 99 percent are discarded and unjustly judged. How is that for discrimination?

I wrote an article about how men are not allowed to sit next to children on any airline around the world . An overwhelming response from females on the blog was,


Well just ‘man up’.

To hear this from a female is not uncommon.

Effectivley this is saying, ‘put up, shut up and harden up’.  So as a male we have to accept discrimination, stop whining and get on with life.

What is the female equivalent?

Well there isn’t. For the sheer fact if you were to tell a woman to ‘put up, shut up and harden up’ you would be branded a sexist arsehole! After all aren’t we’re meant to be in touch with our emotional side? Well that depends what kind of week she is having. The fact is we are meant to tap into our emotional side when a woman needs an emotional crutch to to lean on but when that has passed the man is meant to be the stalwart, impervious to emotion that should simply adopt his male role and get over it. When a woman uses the term ‘man up’ it makes me laugh. Essentially she is saying ‘stop acting like a woman’. I bet if the latter was the accepted term it wouldn’t be as commonly used.

International Women’s Day occurred a few weeks ago and I was told by a female to spare a thought for women in the workplace and the discrimination they all suffer. Immediately I was taken aback. In my industry women’s rights are the of utmost importance so I took this guilt trip quite personally. So I asked her, have you ever experienced discrimination in your workplace?

Her answer, No.

Because we haven’t experienced discrimination in our industries doesn’t suggest that discrimination doesn’t exist. But I don’t think it is of epidemic proportions. I can almost feel some women screaming at the computer screens. But seriously have you been discriminated against in the workplace? Or are you just regurgitating a paragraph from The Daily Telegraph.  I believe that merit based promotion or job selection is the preferred tool used by most companies. But a worrying trend for certain women is to immediately default to their gender if they weren’t selected for a role.  It is easier to claim discrimination than actually have a discerning look at yourself and admit that you weren’t the best for the position.

Has another male been promoted over me in the past? Yes.

 Did I feel like I was better than him? Yes.

But instead of claiming unfairness or injustices I returned to my corner sought to better myself, strengthen my perceived weaknesses and prepared for another round. Blaiming males isn’t the answer to success it is just a temporary excuse for your own inabilities.

There are certain characteristics that men possess that I believe just come with the territory. We are visual beings.

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Several studies have shown that men react to visual stimuli more commonly than females. One such study, Sex Differences In Response to Visual Sexual Stimuli concluded that men appear more influenced by the sex of the actors depicted in the stimuli whiles women’s response may differ with the context presented. This being said, why are we constantly being made to feel like scumbags for looking. If women were designed the same way do you think they would tolerate this? They would claim this is who they are and they should just be accepted for what comes naturally. Studies further indicate that women take their cues from scenario based literacy.  How many women were made to feel bad for reading 50 shades of Grey. I saw several women reading this at work, on public transport and in cafes. This is just one paragraph from the book.

Excerpts 50 shades grey #4 – Anastasia has made friends with her ‘Inner Goddess’ 

“I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder … Hmm … My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.” (137)

Is this appropriate for the work place? Is this appropriate on public transport? Effectively it’s porn for women. But if I was to pull out a playboy, penthouse or some other form of magazine that would appeal to my male visual senses I would be quickly removed from the area. Some may argue that the public could see the content of the magazine so it isn’t fit to read in public. I tend to agree. But by that rationale it should be ok to have a copy of fifty shades of grey and a penthouse sitting on the coffee table in the privacy of one’s home? How many women would be comfortable with a pornographic magazine sitting in their living room? But as men we are meant to view ‘Christian grey’s large engorged member’ as rather acceptable. So we are encouraged to suppress our male urges, even feel bad about it. Hide the magazines, delete the browser history and say 50 Hail Mary’s. How dare we!

Chivalry is a dead.


The amount of times I have heard this phrase  is astounding. The reason it is dead ladies is that men are now so utterly confused that it is easier to leave you to your own devises. The word chivalry derived from a knights code;

“The Knight’s Code of Chivalry was a moral and honorable system that stated all knights should protect others who can not protect themselves, such as women, children, and elders. All knights needed to have the strength and skills to fight wars in the Middle Ages; they not only had to be strong but they were also extremely disciplined and were expected to use their power to protect the weak and defenseless.”

Rather archaic in it’s intention isn’t it. This suggests that women can’t protect themselves and need a man to institute a code to protect them. Such discrimination!

Is it any wonder males don’t want to hold a door open, lay their jacket over a body of water  or wait for you to be seated first. This would all suggest that you are in some way weaker and incapable of looking after yourself. So when you hear complaints about chivalry being dead don’t direct your disappointment at men. Take a look at yourself and the blood on your own hands.

Women have fought to achieve equality in Australia and some still fight but remember that not all males are against you. The feminist movement was about ending sexism and stereotypes. It was not about creating a new form of sexism. To put us all under the one banner seeks to turn friend into foe and compromises what you are setting out to achieve and that is equality. So when you are in public telling the world how terrible men are spare a thought for your father, son, brother or uncle. They are all men too.

Rant On.


6 Mar

What a year 2013 was for the National Rugby League. We had The Roosters win a Grand final, Queensland remain a force in Origin and the Golden Knob was awarded to Blake Ferguson for being the biggest dickhead in Rugby League, an honour that he took with both hands. Blake did such a good job at being a dickhead he still remains unsigned for season 2014. This effort is the stuff of legends which may never be repeated.


Sandor secretly loving Blake’s penis resting against his neck. Sandor and Blake no longer in the NRL

To receive his Rothman’s Medal for player of the year in 1991,  Ewen McGrady had to be escorted by police just to make it the Ceremony. Interestingly enough it was several police escorts that led Blake to his ‘knob of the year award’ in 2013.

Blake has been a worthy winner and has really taken to the people to celebrate his win. Not before publicly declaring that he had adopted the Muslim faith and rejected alcohol. I think choosing a religion that required him to go cold turkey was  an impossible leap of faith. If he  gave Christianity a look in he could have easily accounted for his drinking with a simple biblical reference to John 2:1-11.  The miracle of ‘water into wine’ is the perfect excuse if  he is ever caught drinking.  Or he could have  followed in Snoop Dogs/Lion’s lead and become a Rastafarian where his religion requires him to smoke weed.  He should have tested a few religions  before committing. So when Blake was seen in a pub drinking several schooners it left patrons a little perplexed. But when Blake pulled out his Golden beauty and sat it on the bar for all to see, everyone in the pub realized they were in the presence of greatness . One patron was quoted as saying in admiration,

“You don’t just get given those awards. You gotta earn them”

Golden Knob AwardOnce again well done on the win Blake but as they say, ‘last year’s Court papers, torn contracts, fines and victim testimonies are tomorrow’s fish and chip wrappers’. Therefore I would like to wipe the leader board clear and announce,


The same rules apply as last year with the addition of two new rules. In case you need a rule refresher please refer to the link below,

The two new rules for the 2014 season are as follows:

The Prodigal Son rule. If any player breaks their contract because they are home sick they awarded 500 points

Apparently when players sign $500000 a year contracts they don’t realize that Mummy and Daddy don’t come with it. I can’t believe the NRL didn’t warn these grown men that moving interstate required some maturity. The NRL have to take some responsibility in this situation and realise that these adults are receiving a wage 8 times more than the average person. How could you not expect them to indulge in gambling, drugs, alcohol, eventually cheat on their wives and then alienate their team mates. It is too much to expect them to value their circumstance, respect a contract and exude a level of professionalism. Apparently so.

PLEASE. The Ben Barba’s of this world need a kick up the arse.  He shat where he ate, left the Bulldogs to clean it up and then sighted the need to be around family as his excuse to cut his contract short. This new tactic of claiming social issues, dependency problems, depression and then running back to family simply reeks. It’s like dealing with kids who are on camp or on their first day of school.

“oh Mrs Barba, Ben has been crying all morning and says he misses you. You better come by and pick him up. He is in the sick bay because he says he is feeling down”.

Ben misses Mum on the first day of Broncos training

Ben misses Mum on the first day of Broncos training

Man up you bunch of mummies boys.  I wonder if the Epic Bender Crew have moved to Brisbane to keep Benny company. EBC for life! Dickheads.

Rule 2.

The Buddy Rule.

Luke-Ricketson-Buddy-FranklinThis has nothing to do with mate ship and has everything to do with Buddy Franklin. This knob head from the south brings a fun boy persona to Sydney that has seen him captured with other dislikable peanuts like Quade Cooper and James O’Connor. Any league player pictured with Buddy will incur a 250 point penalty. If you pair the ‘Buddy rule’ with the ‘Knob Trifecta’ (Rule 15) you will receive 500 point penalty, this is known as the ‘First four’ infraction. If any player then rolls this ‘First four’ infraction into a picture with Mundine (Rule 3) you will receive a 1000 point penalty. To clarify, the photo must include Buddy Franklin, Quade Cooper, SBW, Mundine and the player in question. You would need a bloody wide angel lens to get all these egos in one shot. Might need to set it to panorama

Rule 3: 

The Rocky Rule: Any player that announces a boxing career or aspirations for a boxing career will be awarded a 500 point penalty. Further to this if they fight and lose it’s 1000 points.

Paul Gallen's next opponent

Paul Gallen’s next opponent

Pretty sure the world is sick of Rugby League players stepping into the ring,  Gallen, Williams, Ferguson, Mundine, amd Hopoate to name a few.  Fighting 50 year old no names from New Zealand doesn’t count as a professional career. The undercard for the last Mundine fight  had Blake Ferguson  on debut as the semi main event. While Jarrod Fletcher ,  a very accomplished amateur,  a Commonwealth games gold medal winner and now a professional, fought in Ferguson’s false shadow. The hilarious thing is Ferguson fought a guy with no real experience and still lost. Not only do these knobs disrespect themselves they disrespect  boxers who train and fight hard to earn a spot on the card just to have talent-less footballers skip the queue.

An anonymous source from the boxing fraternity best said it when asked about NRL players turning to pro boxing,

“too stupid for nrl, so as an elite athlete with years of training and money invested in them they move to another sport, take on competition that is anything but elite- almost exclusively hand picked opponents who train part time and have extremely limited experience- and then displace actual elite boxers on pay per view cards, taking money out of their pockets while making Australian boxing look like a joke despite the fact that we have a wealth of boxing talent available at the moment”

Stick to football fellas. At least that way you have 12 other people to blame when it comes crashing down.

It wouldn’t be a season launch without predicting who I think will be the top 5 players in the running for the Golden Knob Award for 2014.

5. Sam Burgess (sloth).

Sam Burgess

Big Sammy started the season off by announcing that he is running off to Rugby Union in England. This in itself brings an immediate penalty of 100 points in accordance with Rule 13. Having a late surge last year with antics such as squeezing a Melbourne Storm players jatz crackers I see him having an almighty year. Having secured a contract in England and with brother George cocked and ready to go I think we should prepare ourselves for the sloth to have quite an impact in the social scene. He is at long odds but with the no tomorrow in the NRL it could make for an interesting today.

4. Josh Dugan.

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Get ready dragon fans. This is how hard Josh Dugan trains during the season.

Well doesn’t this man have some form. From the ACT stables young Dugan has the ability to play for Australia and an even greater ability to be a dickhead. He bolted early last year with his release from the Raiders and the Ferguson booze up but then died off towards the end of the season. There was no real trouble from Dugan in the second half of the year which saw him drop out of the race for the gong. Dugan’s form through his career has made it easy for our team of advisers to predict how his season will unfold:

Feigning injury after injury he will play no more than 6 games straight. He will then come back and play just enough football, score some brilliant individual tries, but at the same time be of no actual benefit to the club. While injured he will do something stupid under the influence of alcohol which will attract police attention and club penalties. This will happen 2-3 times in the season. He will cause in fighting among the players because of his special treatment  and will poison the side. Will it be enough for the ‘Golden Knob’? One hopes.

 3. Benny ‘Bender’ Barba

I told you to cook me some fucking eggs

I told you to cook me some fucking eggs

A big Chris Brown and  Prodigy fan, young Barba,  prior to last years indiscretions, was allegedly seen with his big headphones on bopping along to one of his favourite songs, ‘Smack my Bitch Up’.

Oh come on who isn’t guilty of listening to a song and then acting it out. Fergo and Dugan had been listening to ‘The Fiddler on the Roof’ soundtrack before their ‘breezer moment’ and apparently Sandor Earl’s favourite song is ‘infomer’  and we all know how that played out,  A Licky Boom Boom Down!

But instead of staying at the Bulldogs, the club that protected him while he allegedly partied the house down and allegedly beat women, good old Benny Boy flew the coup. The avoidance of responsibility and refusal of accountability mean that he is a great contender for 2014. Depending on his choice of soundtrack for this season we may hear more from Barbarino.

2. Jake Friend.

This may seem like a harsh choice but as the old saying goes, you can’t keep a good man down. After runs with police for assualt in 2009 and for possession of a prescription drug without a prescription in 2010, Friend has had a 3 year, blemish free, stint. His football has been excellent and representative honours beckon in 2014.

But Friend is my bolter for 2014. The Roosters are flying high after last years Premeirship and they look like absolute morals for back to back competition wins. Something needs to happen to unsteady this ship and I think Friend is the man to do it.

1. The Hopoate’s

HoppaBig John Hopoate has had more court appearances than Roger Federer and left an imprint or should I say a finger print on the game of Rugby League. He is the first player and still remains the only man to get charged with ‘brown eye gouging’. Still in and around the court system Big Hoppa has two sons playing in the NRL. One a devout Mormon the other a devout Moron.

Will Hopaote apparently takes after his mother and is a seemingly mild mannered man. He is back in the NRL after doing 2 years service as a missionary in the Mormon faith. He is playing for the Parramatta Eels and hoping to lead them on a pilgrimage to the top of the NRL ladder.

Enter brother Jamil;  after allegedly assaulting someone in Manly he has been dropped by Parramatta for season 2014 but he is hoping to sign with another club before the season is over. Jamil seems to have taken after his father and although he is still in the under 20’s he looks to have the makings of a future ‘Golden Knob’ recipient. In a recent court appearance the judge allegedly told young Jamil to ‘pull his finger out of his backside, stop getting in trouble and get back to playing football’.  After years of watching his dad stick his finger in backsides he was a little perplexed at the direction given by the judge but none the less promised to oblige. All I can say is that if you have eight kids and pack them full of athletic ability and combine them with the intellect of Big Hoppa you are bound to ensure a legacy for years to come. What kind of legacy remains to be seen.

Of course I may be wrong about all of the players mentioned above. But just like the NRL we only pay on results. So let the games begin and we will see you when it’s all over.

Oh just before I wrap it up. If Mitchell Pearce is selected to play Origin again this year then Laurie and the team of NSW Selectors may be given a special award.  At least they will be able to walk away from another lost series with a bit of silverware (or golden-ware) for the cabinet.

Happy NRL Season Everyone,

Rant On

The Fauxsters : A Hipster Parody

16 Jan


Before I start throwing punches, I want to make clear that this article is directed at the bandwagon hipsters (I like to call them ‘Fauxsters’), not the original, alternative lifestyle, quirky, non-conformist characters that have lived in the inner west for decades. The ‘original hipsters’ would in fact cringe at the term and further more despise the commercialisation of the so called ‘hipster lifestyle’. Much like their food, the original hipster existence is organic and pure and it was their push for sustainable living that created so many of the businesses in the inner west that have the genuine intention to create a sustainable, clean living and unique community.

That was until the introduction of:  The Fauxsters.

Ordering a beer at a bar in the inner city used to be a nice experience. You would order a beer, some banter with the bar staff and then be on your way. But now I am met with a guy who can barely muster a friendly smile, his eyes brooding a manufactured a fake distant gaze, ‘like blue steel after smoking a joint’. I think it’s meant to purvey to me just how cool this cat is. But just in case I am mistaken I am utterly convinced this guy is cool because his hair is all messy, he has a beard and his clothes, my god his clothes! A paisley shirt, skinny jeans and a key chain that attaches from his back pocket to the front pocket. Coooool!

This guy is trying to so hard to pretend that he doesn’t care about how he looks that it is blatantly obvious that it is all he cares about.  His hair has so much product in it that it could support a second story and the time it would have taken to style it is in complete contrast to the look he is trying to achieve (the ‘I don’t care about my hair look, isn’t that just so random lol’). Now I respect a good beard as much as next man but if you sit down and think, ‘I am going grow a beard because it looks cool’, then don’t do it. The amount of disgusting, partially ginger, patchy faces getting around under the guise of cool not only sickens me it shows just what ridiculousness these fashion tradgics are willing to put themselves through to achieve ‘the look’.

The superficial existence of these inner city wankers really gained momentum about 3 – 4 years ago with the ‘Fauxster Movement’. A tribe of awkward looking, suburban 20 – 30 year olds searching so hard to find a cool identity they decided to pillage styles past to find the coolest piece of clothing they could. It started with 80’s and 90’s t shirts with pictures of Punky Brewster or Brandon Walsh on them.

“ It’s so ironic dude because it’s so uncool that is cool LMFAO, LOL! I better tweet that it is soo insightful”

Then it progressed to old man shirts from the 60’s which has taken us to the  ‘paisley phase’. Why? Because paisley is hideous!  And there’s nothing cooler and more ironic than wearing a shirt that society once considered hideous. The problem with this movement is, that in their desire to be different they have all wound up looking the same.

The whole movement peaked with me and inspired this article when a kid around 25 years old, beard, golfer’s hat, paisley shirt and skinny jeans pulled out a pipe in the Court House beer garden and started to smoke it. He had no interest in smoking a pipe; he was trying to be ‘that guy’. Trying to be the next cool, hoping that someone may post a picture of him on twitter so he can claim to be the one who took it the next level. Is there anything more conceited? Actually there is, he then took his iPhone out and took a picture of himself smoking it. I wanted to slap the pipe from his soft little hand and throw it over the fence.

A Plague on their Houses:

Gaining a reputation for being the new cool the inner west the fauxsters started to infiltrate businesses and have their influence on the community. Here lies my problem.

The manufactured ‘cool’ is painful. It is not only painful it is superficial. The way they design their bars, cafes and pop up shops is so formulaic.

Inner City Bar/Cafe + Fauxsters + Parents Money =

Exposed brick walls and ceilings, up cycled furniture, random emotive quotes written in chalk, cocktails in jam jars served by a 1920’s speak easy barmen or an Andy Warhol look alike  and the fixed wheel bike chained to a pole outside.   And repeat.


Because of the Fauxster element, the hipster movement has evolved into nothing but a brand. They are as mainstream and consumer based as McDonalds. At least McDonalds doesn’t pretend to be anything but.

I appreciate the true pioneers  of this style but enough is enough. Time to build your own personality into your business, not a rip off of someone else’s idea or  a reproduction of a Martha Cooper photo. Just like human beings you can’t just manufacture character, you have to develop character.  You can’t just throw on some vintage clothes, smoke a pipe and claim to be a part of a movement. If you intend to live a lifestyle that truly defines you, you have to invest in it completely and for longer than a few years.  A threatening trend is society’s reluctance towards spending long periods of time in building character, not only in one’s self but in their businesses. Communities like Newtown need to be treated like neighborhoods and not like an iPhone with a 2 year upgrade cycle.  Too often the attitude is, lets buy history instead of  trying to create it. What is starting to define these areas  is fleeting interest, novelty value and trend,  which offer temporary experience but little substance. How long is Newtown, Erskenville or Alexandria going to be the center of attention? It seems the gentrification periods of these places has a life of only a few years before the new cool decide that another suburb is uber grunge and the real hipster Mecca.

As previously stated I am sure there are some people reading this article who are genuine in their appearance and  have been mistaken for a ‘fauster’. All I can say to you is, stay strong. Pretty soon the Fauxsters will move on because their commitment to the cause is fiercely resolute,

until the next fashion trend.

Rant On.

The Injustice System

12 Nov

“Vigilante justice” is rationalized by the idea that adequate legal mechanisms for criminal punishment are either nonexistent or insufficient. Vigilantes typically see government as ineffective in enforcing the law; and such individuals often presume to justify their actions as fulfillment of the wishes of “the community”.

Thomas Kelly

Last week  Kieran Loveridge was given 4 years minimum sentence for the unprovoked murder of this 18 year old man, Thomas Kelly.

I re-read this sentence countless times.  Each time it seemed to have a more profound effect.  The senseless, defenseless taking of another life contrasted by the minuscule number of 4 years.

Does anything else need to be said?

I find it hard to start a new paragraph.

Unfortunately the legal system takes this case, dilutes it and breaks it apart into a convoluted mess, until the real effect is lost.  Downgrading the charges from murder to manslaughter and dissolving the individual’s responsibility, until we are left with 4 years.

Failure of the justice system is not a new issue. But of recent years it has reached disturbing levels and I fear that if given the opportunity people may seek to enact their own justice.   Why should we work in the confines of a legal system that doesn’t seem to respect or protect the innocent? I hate to think what I would do if it were my son who had been taken from me for a measly 4 years

Here is Jill Meagher’s killer,  Adrian Bayley’s criminal history.


  • When he was 19 he raped two teenagers and attempted to rape another.
  • He served time behind bars, but faked his way through a sex offender program to get early release.
  • In 2000 he raped five prostitutes over a six-month period.
  • He was jailed for a minimum of eight years over the attacks.
  • In 2012 while on parole, he assaulted a man in Geelong.
  • The ABC understands the attack did not raise alarm bells with the Parole Board, as it was not a sex crime.
  • Bayley was on parole when he raped and murdered Ms Meagher in 2012.

Do you think we are being appropriately served by the justice system?

Jill Meagher tried to call her husband in the early hours of the morning just prior to her being abducted,  but he was asleep and missed the call. He will live the rest of his life wondering what would have happened if he answered that call. This murder has had a significant affect on my view of society and increased my distrust in the legal system. At night I used to set my phone to silent, no more. I shouldn’t have to live in fear because of this monsters crime. But the sad fact is, I do. How many Adrian Bayley’s are the courts releasing on a daily basis?

On 26 September 2013, Brother Martin Harmata, 60 pleaded guilty to several crimes committed against boys in the 1980’s at  Patrician Brothers College, Blacktown.


A keen outdoorsman, he befriended many families in the local area, convincing parents to let him take their sons away on school camps.  According to police documents at that time, the charges (as of November 2012) were for six offences relating to two boys who were aged 12 to 13 at the time. The charges included the indecent assault of a person under his authority and committing an indecent act towards a person under his authority. By early 2013, the detectives had gathered more information. At Harmata’s next court appearance in June 2013, the number of victims in the case had increased to three (and the number of incidents increased to eight).

He was jailed for three-and-a-half years for sexually abusing these children. He received a discount on his sentence for entering an early plea.

What the hell?

You get a discount for admitting you raped 3 children.  ‘Discount’.  The word itself almost trivializes the crime. Discounts are something you should only get at the supermarket. According to ‘the crimes sentencing procedure act’ you get a 25% discount on your sentence for an early plea. Why? For the pure reason that it saves the state money.

THREE AND HALF YEARS! These parents sent their innocent children to school only to be sexually assaulted by this perverted monster. This man psychologically destroyed these individuals for life. Not to mention the guilt the parents must live with on daily basis for putting their children into this monsters care. All he gets is 3 and half years. With time served he will be eligible for release in 2017. Is this the cost of living in the free world? The worst thing is they will relocate him to another city and  give him a pseudonym so he can enjoy a life without public ridicule. He will re-offend and then we will wonder how this could happen.

Brother Harmata withdrew from teaching in 2012 after one of his victims confronted him in the playground. How many children suffered in that 30 year period?

In a society we all abide by a social contract and operate within a legal structure. My understanding is that as soon as these rules are broken then we TRUST that the law will delegate the appropriate punishment. Let the punishment fit the crime.

I have lost faith in this system. The punishment very rarely fits the crime.

This distrust in the legal system leads to a distrust in our fellow man. Everyone is a potential pedophile, murderer or rapist. Parents, partners and families are justifiably paranoid because we are not being served by the very system designed to protect us. We withdraw from aspects of society because we no longer trust that the ‘bad guys’ are being prosecuted.

I tried to put myself in Thomas Kelly’s parent’s position as they heard the sentence passed down by the judge.

They would have dressed respectfully for court. They would have stood in respect as the judge entered. They would have sat in silence, in the same room as the monster who took their child and remained quiet as he stood for sentencing with every impulse for revenge being suppressed out of respect and faith in a system established to appropriately deal with these criminals.

To then to hear 4 years………………

All Thomas Kelly’s life is worth was 4 years.

The contempt shown by the court towards Thomas Kelly would have had any person seeking retribution.  I don’t know what stopped Mr and Mrs Kelly  jumping the dock  and enacting their own justice. Disbelief, numbness, paralysis from rage?  Maybe they are just better people than I.  But this sentencing and others like it set a dangerous precedent.

Do all the fathers and mothers out there feel safer after this sentence? What would make me feel safer is if these people were not able to re-offend.

Turn the other cheek! What a load of crap.

How about we deal with these criminals so no other people need to suffer. If my son, daughter, wife or any family member suffered a rape, murder or sexual assault  and their predator received a sentence of 3-4 years,  I would wait till they were released and deal with it myself. Then I would walk myself to gaol. The irony is I would get a 20 year sentence. But every day of that 20 years I would wake with a smile knowing that predator was no longer.

People will suggest that this is just rage and emotion talking. Of course it is.

People will suggest that vengeance doesn’t give you peace. Maybe it doesn’t.

But I can tell what it does do. It ensures that no family ever has to suffer or become a victim of this person, ever again.

These are strong words, words that no reporter or journalist are willing to print but they are words I have heard out of a number of people’s mouths over the past weeks. If the justice system doesn’t review their sentencing laws and  start to administer appropriate sentences for such heinous crimes then I fear that more people will grow disenchanted with the system and this could lead to vigilante behavior and street justice. This is a scary, dangerous and a morally devoid alternative but an understandable one

Most of you are parents, all of you have families. What would you do if your child was killed, raped or sexually assaulted and the offender walked 4 years later?

I am sick of the courts taking responsibility away from the criminal  by claiming  an impaired mental state, their abusive childhood, intoxication,  broken home syndrome, or other social problems to justify their behaviour. Whatever leads these people to commit these crimes is a sad indictment on society but in no way should that lessen the time they serve for the crime they have committed.  They can rehabilitate in gaol, they can receive an education in gaol, I don’t care what they do in gaol because as soon as they committed their crimes they broke the social contract and entered into one that involves a significant amount of time behind bars. They can work on being a better human in isolation where they will no longer be a danger to society. They can have their human rights it just won’t be as a free man.

If Adrian Bayley, Keiran Loveridge and Brother Martin Harmata were to appear in my court they would no longer be a concern to society.

Rant On

Winner of the Biggest Knob in Rugby League Competition 2013

6 Sep

Ladies and Gentlemen the time has come to announce the winner of the inaugural ‘Biggest Knob in Rugby League award’. The winner will receive the highly sought after  ‘Golden Knob’ which has been jointly donated by  Michael Hill and Proud’s Jewelry. Although this is the first time it has  been awarded I would like to take a moment and pay tribute to some former knobs who have played the game.

Julian ‘the defecator’ O’Neil. Urinating and pissing at casino tables long before the Chinese taxi drivers even thought about it. His lucky number 8

Scott ‘scarface’ Wilson. One of the pioneers for the current day knobs. Wilson had more clubs than Adam Scotts Golf bag.  South Sydney Rabittohs, North Sydney Bears, Bulldogs (twice), Gold Coast Chargers, Western Reds and the North Queensland Cowboys. He also played for Salford and the Warrington Wolves. Scott loved a line and that wasn’t the kind to hang his washing on.

Luke Goodwin. Son of Ted and probably the best of all the Goodwins. Just your typical party boy knob who squandered his opportunities and wasted his potential. It seems Grayson Goodwin has taken over as the family dickhead.

Chris Walker. Peaked with Sally from Summer Bay. Then drank himself out of a series of contracts. Had more chances than a roulette wheel and kept coming up with 00.

John Hopoate. His career was littered with alcohol fueled incidents and on field brain fades. His greatest legacy involved inserting his fingers into other players bum holes. He now works as a security guard at a night club and is excelling at his job. Allegedly using his old rugby league ‘one finger trick’ he has developed a unique and violent free way to remove rowdy patrons. What saw him get 12 weeks suspension in the NRL has revolutionized the security industry. When you get assholed from one of Hoppa’s pubs, you really get assholed.

OK enough of the pioneers we need to get to the finalists for this years awards. Due to limited time and space we can’t name all the players that polled points. The last 5 weeks the points system has been kept a secret and I can tell you there has been some late movers  for the Golden Knob.

I will now revel the top 5 contenders  in the order they finished the season. Without further ado I give the knob finalists

Josh Dugan


WOW!! He has managed to do a double selfie, selfie. Wanker squared.

Josh Dugan was at very short odds at the start of the season and hasn’t disappointed the punters.  I will give you a brief run down.

The initial no show for training after drinking with Ferguson. Then the roof top ‘breezer incidient’. The no show for disciplinary action and the release from the Canberra Raiders. The twitter tirade in which he told a guy to kill himself which led to the Broncos rescinding their offer. The booze up with Blake Ferguson the day before Origin camp which led to Ferguson being charged with assault. The police being called a week later to a public disturbance to his house in Cronulla to find Dugan and a mate fishing from a boat that was parked on the side of the road.

For a man that seemingly lacks grey matter,  Mr Dugan hasn’t actually accumulated that many points. It seems that the second half of his season was relatively point free. After adding all of 2013 indiscretions he only tallies 450 points. .  But he still did enough early on to hold his position in the top 5 for this year. For as long as Josh is playing top grade football he will always be a favorite with the bookies to contend for the knob of the year award.

Sandor Earl


Good ol bum bag is a dead giveaway. It is a great way to transport stuff. Sandor likes how the stars match the ones on his leg

I will say one word,  ‘Dorguson’. For those of you that are unaware, Sandor has a tattoo of his name combined with Blake Ferguson’s to make ‘Dorguson’. This follows in the footsteps of ‘Brangelina’ and ‘Tomkat’ but the difference is that the latter were married  Hollywood couples. Ferguson promised to get ‘Dorguson’ tattooed on his arm but has yet to follow through.  Is there trouble in paradise? Maybe that’s why Ferguson wants to leave Canberra?

Hands up who likes gay tattoos!

Hands up who likes gay tattoos!

The tattoo by itself  doesn’t come with a large penalty it only has a loading of 50 points but what shot Earl into contention for the award was his alleged use and distibution of performance enhancing peptides, a loading of 500 points. Total Knob Points  550

Sandor Earls closet must be huge if he can fit himself and a stock pile of peptides inside it. We should have tweeked when Earl starting wearing  a bumbag and tear away trackies while he was playing. An absolute dead giveaway.

But what I find amazing is that there is no real evidence that these peptides are  performance enhancing. I plead to the court that Sandor Earl proves that these peptides don’t actually work. I submit his past two season as evidence to the contrary.

George Burgess


Claims he will never use a street sign in anger again

The naked selfie kicked off his campaign. Big Georgie’s picture went viral and probably soon after, so did he. Only a 50 point infraction but a solid start.

Closely following this incident the biggest of the Burgess brothers decided it was time to for some work experience as a traffic controller.  So he grabbed a street sign and smashed it through the rear window of a car. It proved that Big Georgie is a long way from the responsibilities of running a ‘stop/go’ sign. After delivering this street justice it wasn’t hard for the police to track down  a giant with blonde hair, a strong Yorkshire accent and a hot mum (I couldn’t resist including his mum and allegedly the same goes for Russel Crowe) .  This incident cost George 2 games, $10000, anger management classes and 50 hours community service but more importantly it came with loading of 650 knob points.

Ben Barba


Epic Bender Crew. From the position of the Tattoo it’s more like Epic Boner Crew.

Big Bad Benny Barba  burst into ‘Golden Knob’ contention with a couple of scurrilous efforts this season. The first we heard of was when Ben was stood down from playing and entered into a drug and alcohol rehabilitation clinic. It was sighted that he was suffering family issues and not dealing well with the break up of his marriage. As the story broke so did the picture of a tattoo on Bens lower torso ‘EBC’. Apparently this was an initiation into a party scene group called the ‘Epic Bender Crew’. Ben had fallen into the hands of societies elite and taken to alcoholism and gambling.  Further stories confirmed that Ben was attending training a little ‘tired and emotional’ and the club needed to take immediate action. With this effort Ben Barba entered the race for the Golden Knob.

But he wasn’t done with.

In the last month of Rugby League he has managed to jump ship from the Bulldogs, which is an offence that we can’t award him points for. But the release of photos depicting a battered and bloodied female has shot Ben up the leader board. There is more to this story from all sides but after reviewing the rules I have awarded Ben Barba 600 points. He tallies points for stupid tattoos (50 points), public violence (150 points),  alleged spousal abuse (350 points) and various club sanctioned breaches (300 points). He finishes with a total of 850 points.

This brings me to this years champion. This man has managed to dodge responsibility, abuse trust, drink heavily, breach club rules,  attract police arrests, face court twice and even help contribute to the  demise of a coach.

Ladies and Gentleman I give you this years winner of the ‘Golden Knob Award’

Blake ‘the ventriloquist’ Ferguson


David Strassman he isn’t.

Blake started the year with a couple of minor indiscretions. Late for training and drinking while injured but he burst onto the scene when he played ‘Robbin’ to Josh Dogan’s ‘Batman’.  Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dumber on the roof of their house enjoying a breezer in Canberra, in a practice commonly known as the   ‘Bogan Balcony’.

Blake ‘the snake’ unreservedly apologised for his actions and was given another chance by the Canberra Raiders. Until these two idiots joined forces on the eve of State of Origin Camp II.

“Congrats to big joshy Dugan very happy for you bra  @Josh_Dugan #wereback.”

Off the back of this twitter message both men went out and drank themselves into oblivion. Two Golden Knob finalists in the same place at the same time.

What is the worst that could happen?

The night came undone when Blake allegedly mistook a woman on a bar stool for a ventriloquist doll. An honest mistake. To Blake’s surprise the doll came to life and slapped him across the face. Thinking this odd Blake thought he better  familiarize himself with the women before she did something she would regret.

‘Don’t you know who I am?’ he said,

The lady  incorrectly guessed,  David Strassman.

Following this Ferguson was charged with sexual assault and stood down from representative and club football.  After a 2 month lay off Ferguson returned for 1 game and then went AWOL. The playing group revolted and Furner was sacked. Like a good dose of Roundup, Ferguson poisoned the roots of the club and celebrated by drinking in the Cross. He topped off the night by jumping a cab queue in front of the waiting public and headed home. Since this incident Ferguson has not attended training or even spoken to the club.

But instead of going underground Blake pops up on another knobs twitter feed. This picture accompanied with #foundhim.  (pic bleow)

688829-ferguson (1)

At least Blake wasn’t driving. Also where is that other hand? From the reaction of Goodwin I have an idea where is it. Blake up to his out ventriloquist tricks again.

Once again Ferguson displayed a complete disrespect for the Raiders management, the fans and the NRL. The picture doesn’t befit a man going through tough personal issues.

This wasn’t enough. Following this he was caught speeding and  fined for driving with a suspended license. After this incident the ‘Golden Knob’ was a forgone conclusion, but Blake peaked  when he appeared in an interview with Anthony Mundine. A gag order saw all questions directed to Blake, answered by Mundine. It was possibly the weirdest and dumbest interviews I have seen. Led by the best linguist since King George VI, Mundine stuttered, crossed tenses, created words, inappropriately applied verbs and adjectives and generally butchered the English language.

Hey Bra, I can do this while blowin a bubble

Hey Bra, I can do this while blowin a bubble.
(so that’s where Blake got the idea from)

At seasons end Blake polled 1800 points. Infractions included multiple club fines and breaches, double selfies, court appearances, police charges (driving without a license and speeding), publicly pictured/filmed with Anthony Mundine, completing the knob trifecta, wearing a Flat Brim cap with logo on, various social media offences, knob tattoos (Dorgeson), miscellaneous offences (taxi rank queue jumping).

Ladies and gentlemen  once again the winner of the ‘Golden Knob’ for 2013.

Golden Knob Award

The Sound Of Silence

23 Aug



I thought I had heard it all but this week I was proven wrong. On one hand I was saddened and on the other I wasn’t surprised.

This week the Wallaby captain James Horwill and flanker Michael Hooper pleaded to the New Zealand Rugby fans to stop booing Quade Cooper.

“I think it’s quite unreasonable what the All Black supporters are doing to him,” Hooper said.
“He’s a great player and a great guy so I think everyone who enjoys footy wants to see him do well.
“I think the booing’s a bit below-the-belt sort of stuff. He deserves more than that as a player.

Effectively, Mum and Dad (Horwill can assume the role of dad) have come by his school and asked the other kids to stop picking on Quade.  Poor old Quadie needs to be shown more respect. The players will soon be requesting that all the security hold up ‘Quiet Please’ signs like in the US PGA. Or even better get an umpire to sit on a raised platform and command ‘Quiet Please’ before the start of each set piece.

Once again the Wallabies have shown the world how soft their underbellies are and why they represent no real threat to New Zealand.  Where do these players ‘get off’ trying to tell the crowd who not to boo and jeer. It shows how mentally fragile these bunch of children are. If you are real competitors then you use the boos and the insults to fuel the desire to win. The harder they boo the more you should want to win. What would have happened if Craig McLaughlin or Rove McManus cried foul every time they were booed? Well a bloody lot of tears, but, Rove and Craig pressed on and forged careers  amidst the insults. Their living proof that with perseverance, desire and thick skin you will eventually succeed. Even without any talent.

Do you think the French Rugby side would complain if they were booed? For all their pomp and the ceremony the French are fiercely proud and refuse to be dominated, except for maybe World War I and for that matter World War II. BUT in the World Cup final in New Zealand when the Haka was being performed they didn’t just sit back and let  the New Zealand crowd and players intimidate them.

NO! They advanced on the Haka.

Vive La Résistance.

Even though this was against the IRB rules they still did it. They dealt with the fine after the match but for that moment in time they drew a line in the sand (a far more effective and definitive line than the Maginot) and said enough. Fact of the matter is, is that the Haka is a sign of aggression and the players use it to intimidate. I couldn’t care less whether the New Zealanders think the Haka should be respected. The players can pay tribute to the culture of the original inhabitants of Aotearoa during the week not 2 minutes before kick off. I love the Haka but with no right of reply the theatre is lost. Watching the French advance I felt like grabbing a beret, a baguette and a ban the burka sticker because the Frenchman inside me had awoken.

Allez Les Blue!

But instead, how do the Wallabies act when threatened? They politely ask the crowd if they could hold their boos.

‘As players we deserve more respect’ said Hooper

No fellas you don’t deserve respect, you have to earn respect. Pulling on the Wallaby jumper is an honour and a privilege but it doesn’t immediately entitle you to respect, especially from the opposition. Who cares if someone is getting insulted by the crowd? If you are paying attention to the crowd then your head isn’t in the game. The wallabies should love to be hated by the Kiwi fans, they should feed off it. It makes beating them even sweeter. We should be driven by a will to win and fueled by pure hatred. The wallabies have lost their focus and in turn lost their mongrel. Have I missed something or has the Bledisloe lost its meaning? Are we playing to win or are we just having a friendly?

The Bledisloe should have the intensity of an origin and for 80 minutes take no prisoners, both on and off the field. By asking fans to stop booing just encourages them to boo louder and more often. Could you imagine NSW asking Queenslanders to stop booing Paul Gallen. Or Queensland supporters asking NSW to lay off Wally Lewis. What next? Are we not going to boo when the Prime Minister is introduced at the next Test match? Perish the thought.

Quade has an abundance of talent but has a hide as thick as a ‘Durex Super thin Extra Sensitive Condom’. Do you think Sean Fitzpatrick showed any concern when he was booed by the Australian crowd? Every insult that was thrown his way would be absorbed and redirected as rage towards the Wallaby players. The more he was booed the better he got. He reveled in being public enemy number 1 in Australia and the favourite son in New Zealand.

Quade Cooper has put New Zealand fans offside because of a couple of on field incidents with Richie Macaw and the fact that he was born in New Zealand doesn’t help his case either.  But if they boo Quade then they are booing Australia and on the field action should be taken by the players.  The wallabies should rally around him, protect him and belt anyone that tries to intimidate him. Respect for Quade Cooper from the New Zealand fans may not eventuate until he retires. That is the nature of the game. Sean Fitzpatrick was hated until the day he retired and following this the wallaby fans finally let down their guard and admitted that he was one of the best.

I say welcome the Boos, encourage it and with every insult, bank it. Hate has no place in society but in Rugby it is a great motivator. Build it, then unleash it on the field and leave it there.

The Wallabies will always attract a lot of attention, some positive and some negative. The only way to control it, is by winning.


Rant On


The NRL CON-tract

14 Aug


An NRL contract walks into a bar and asks,

‘Have you seen Blake Ferguson or Josh Dugan’?

Barman says,


NRL contract says,

That makes two of us.


For years the significance of a contract or its binding nature has been whittled away to nothing.  No longer do players believe they have to honour a contract with the club or fans. Instead they throw a tantrum and attempt to pull on the heart strings by claiming ‘compassionate grounds’. All compassionate grounds gives the players is a simple out and a convenient ‘disorder’ to hide behind.

I have said it before and I will say it again,


Yeah fellas, life is too hard and you need to get away or go back home. I understand that training 3 times a week and getting paid millions can be hard sometimes.

Are the current day Rugby League players kidding themselves? What a bunch of weak minded mummies boys.

The latest has been Ben Barba, Blake Ferguson and of previous months,  Josh Dugan.

Barba wants to head back to Brisbane for family reasons, off the back of some disgraceful behavior behind closed doors at the Bulldogs. Ferguson wants to head to Sydney to have the ‘puppet master’ Mundine control his life because he can’t stop drinking and touching and Dugan was sick of being told what to do at Canberra so, like the prisoners in ‘H block’, he held a ‘roof top coup’ (with none other than Blake Ferguson) until he was released from his contract

These players should  not be granted a thing. They should be told (in Dugans case ‘been told’) in no uncertain terms that they will fulfill their contract  in the top grade or in the NSW Cup. What these children, posing as men, need to understand is that they are adults. In the adult world when you sign a contract and accept a ridiculous amount of money, then you are entering into an agreement. An agreement that is legally and morally binding. It seems the only  ‘contracting’ the NRL players seem to fully commit to is an STD after  a big night out.

Now these money grubbing scumbags will sign a 5 year contract because they see the big dollar sign attached to it. But they disregard the fact that they may be away from home for 5 years. A soon as they break up with their partner, have a drinking episode, miss their mates from school or have a bad game they reach for the Kleenex and the telephone and start the process of running away.

Let me tell you fellas. There are thousands, dare I say millions of Australians living away from home because of work. They will do years away from family and friends just for an opportunity to find employment and in some cases for a promotion. Immigrants leave their families for the chance to find employment in Australia and hopefully a better life. You are being paid millions of dollars to be stay where you are and you still cry foul. You all need a good kick up the arse! Life can be easy and life can be hard. It ebbs and flows and you have to take the good with bad. If this means dealing with loss of a relationship, friendship, family or money then you ‘man up’. get help and deal with it. You don’t cash your chips in and walk away.

Ferguson if you love ‘Uncle Choc Choc’ so much get him to move to Canberra and live down there. He isn’t on contract. He is free to move anywhere. But we all know this wont happen because it doesn’t suit you or ’Don King’, sorry, I meant  Mundine. The Canberra Raiders have supported Ferguson on each of his unruly escapades. They stood by him in his darkest moments and the loyalty he shows is a request to leave the club. What a tip rat! Ferguson should just direct all questions to Mundine because it obvious that he now speaks for him

The NRL board and the clubs have made this kind of behavior acceptable. Now you can walk away from a club or be sacked for disciplinary reasons and just pick up where you left off.

Josh Dugan did just that. He and St. George Illawarra are reaping the benefits.

This has to stop.

Make these player accountable.

Ok you want a release? You got it.

But you are not able to be signed by any club in Australia. That way the fans and the club are not disadvantaged by having this player play against them a month later and it also binds the player to his contract. It further teaches them a full understanding of commitment.  The only option will be to play in the UK or switch to Rugby. No worries. See you later. They will take a bigger pay cut and chances are they won’t successfully make the switch. I would prefer to be rid of these adolescents than support their behavior.

I am not sure if anyone has noticed but for all the crap and drama that these players create off the field the standard of on field play has been woeful. I have not watched a full game in 5 weeks. In all my years of supporting Rugby League I have never been so bored. Ok I will admit Dugan has been playing well as has Ferguson, but what about the disruption to the teams. There has been weeks or months without them playing. I actually hold Ferguson responsible for NSW losing the Origin series. So for all their talent, what quality and consistency do you really get?      Barba falls into the same category. As long as this guy is happy and being pandered to then he plays well. As soon as his jenga tower falls over he is as useless as Ben Pomeroy. As a result the playing group suffers. Guys train their butts off to make the NRL only to have the likes of these guys walk in and take the spotlight with their ‘days of our lives’ behavior. I say get rid of all these  under performing and over paid Prima Donnas. They are all talented men with unreliable minds. They are selfish on and off the field and have no place in a team environment.

It is about time that the NRL start to look after their brand. At the moment they house and promote delinquent behavior in fear they are going to lose a superstar. Well sometimes you have to take a hit to move forward. The first step is to get them to honour their contracts. If they don’t then there has to be repercussions not reward.

Rant On