Archive | February, 2015

When Good Men Do Nothing

26 Feb

Myuran Sukumaran and Andrew Chan are two young men that went down the wrong path. They intimidated, threatened and influenced others to import and smuggle drugs. They were legally and morally devoid when they  committed their crimes, almost 10 years ago. They disregarded their family, friends, the Indonesian and  the Australian people.  Their selfish acts  directly destroyed seven peoples lives and indirectly affected the lives of people with substance abuse issues.

They are criminals.

I am not here to convince you that these men are angels, but, to deny them a chance of redemption by taking their life seems hopeless, futile and inhumane.

In Saudi Arabia and Iran they have a concept call Hudud. It is practiced strictly under Sharia law. These include the religious crimes of adultery, fornication, homosexuality, apostasy, consuming intoxicants, transgression, highway robbery and theft. In sharia law, Hudud crimes trigger a class of punishments that range from public lashing, publicly stoning to death, amputation of hands or public execution. These sentences are currently carried out in both these countries.

As a nation we publicly denounce these archaic and barbaric acts. In the modern world these punishments ‘do not’ fit the crime. The problem is, these laws over simplify an often complicated situation. Initially justice may seem to be served but what has really been achieved. Crime, adultery and homosexuality still exist in these countries regardless of the harsh punishments. The only thing these punishments do is feed evil and decrease the value of human life. That is why the argument of  ‘their country, their rules’ is completely ridiculous. Just because it is law in another country doesn’t make it acceptable on a world scale. The people who support the execution of Myuran Sukumaran and Andrew Chan  help promote this form of justice.  As the law abiding majority we institute laws based on societal moral codes. If we support killing another person then how are we any different from the criminals we send to jail.

Do we hold the moral high ground if we can seemingly  justify this callous and barbaric act?

The fact is you can never justify killing someone in this manner, regardless of any countries set of laws . Our justice system keeps us from lowering ourselves to a criminal level, by not taking the life of another human being. As a modern day society that is our responsibility to one other.

Maintain life, preserve it, rehabilitate it and save it, if and when we can.

Many people have argued, the drugs that the Bali Nine attempted to smuggle would  have killed countless people. To hold them entirely responsible for drug induced deaths is over simplifying the issues of ‘societal drug addiction’. Their drug importation would have certainly contributed to drug consumption but a myriad of factors are responsible for the death of drug users. To attribute the deaths of all drug takers to Myuran and Andrew only serves to support a hollow agenda to justify their executions and make them more palatable.

Would they have kept importing if they hadn’t been caught? Probably.

In order for Myuran and Andrew to operate their drug syndicate they chose ignore the big picture in order justify their actions. They didn’t consider repercussions. They never thought or cared , ‘who will actually be affected by this’. They blindly and carelessly enacted their crimes.

Aren’t those in support of this execution, thinking exactly the same way?

Aren’t they simply ignoring the big picture to justify the means?

This is what should be considered before condemning these men to death. Could I  in fact shoot these men to death? Could I take these two  lives by my own hands? Could I watch televised pictures of the execution? Could I watch these men being placed against a post and a bullet fired into their skulls? Could I watch the final beat of their heart and their last breath? (Watch this video. Watch it all the way through. It is painful.* WARNING: This VIDEO contains a man executed by firing squad.)

If the answer is ‘Yes’ to all those questions, then I pity you and I seriously fear for your mental state. Because trust me, from experience, to see life leave a person’s body is something you do not forget. I could imagine that being responsible for taking a life would be even more devastating. Just ask our armed service men and woman and see if they found it easy to kill  (even if it was an enemy) and then live with it.  A piece of your humanity withers and never recovers.

If the answer is ‘No’ then you can’t possibly support this madness. To support it on social media or even from privacy of your home, means, you are in part responsible, for the deaths of these two human beings. By taking a backseat supporting role you are blinding yourself from the horror of this event. Get your face in it, surround yourself by it, indulge in it, take responsibility for it because to do anything but, is a complete act of cowardice.

We don’t cut off limbs, we don’t stone people to death and we don’t put people to death by firing squad . No family should ever have to suffer the loss of a loved one in this manner.  Compassion, forgiveness and love is what criminals like Myuran Sukumaran and Andrew Chan need, even when they may not deserve it. Use this instead of a bullet and see how it makes you feel.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing”.

                                                                                                           Edmund Burke

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Rant On.

The Biggest Knob in Rugby League Winner 2014

24 Feb

At the commencement of each competition it is tradition to crown the winner from the previous year.

This year saw the emergence of new faces and the resurgence of old ones. The charge sheet reads: assault, drink driving, sexual assault, spousal abuse, drug trafficking and manslaughter. Wow! The 2014 competition was the toughest yet, well at least since 2013.

It was nice to see some former players keeping their heads in the game, Craig field dabbled in some manslaughter while Matt Sears and Jason Smith were charged with trafficking cocaine. It is now clear how Jason Smith played until he was 40 and how Matt Sears ran down Brett Mullins in the final series in 1993. I thought it was Matt Sear’s speed but it was clearly his coke.  

The Runners up for 2014

  1. Mitchell ‘the myth’ Pearce. Well we finally found a decent NSW halves pairing in Mitchell Pearce and Melissa Erroja. The coming together of these two hugely talented and classy individuals ensured that NSW finally won an Origin Series. Although Erroja had a better kicking game than Pearce, Mitchell was able to mentor her on the ability to do nothing and build a career on it. But in all seriousness thank you Mitchell for being a knob and securing us an origin title. As with every new year Pearce will be back in contention with Matt Johns, Sterlo and the rest of the NRL cronies telling us that he is in “career best form” and pushing for selection.

 Blues Saviour

  SOS yellow dress, NSW needs you early May.

  1. Jamil Hopoate, who the bookies had ranked in the number 1 position to take out the ‘Golden Knob’ for 2014, (check out here) did his best by assaulting a person outside a pub and being sentenced to 1 year jail. Only being a fringe first grade player it was hard to give Jamil the award. But It isn’t the end of the world, Will Hopoate was away for 2 years being a Mormon and Jamil will only be away for 1 year being a moron. It’s a great effort for a rookie to finish number 2 and needless to say, his father John Hopoate was as proud as punch……. kick, elbow and knees.Hoppa
  2. Kirisome Avua’a. Was charged and convicted of assaulting his ex-girlfriend. Once again I think Kirisome copped a bad deal. He was told that the NRL would not tolerate spousal abuse so he broke up with his partner before assaulting her. Common sense kicked in (excuse the pun) when Souths or Souffs (as they’re officially known) managed to conceal this crime to enable Kirisome to play the finals. Glory Glory!

Now to the winner:

In a year where the entire Cronulla Sharks Organization could have won the award, one shark stood above them all.

 I take great pleasure in announcing the winner of the 2014 Biggest Knob in Rugby League Competition and recipient of The Golden Knob’ is none other than:

Golden Knob

Todd proves that you can ban the boy from Goulburn but you can’t ban the Goulburn from the boy. Carney by name and Carney by nature, his form in this competition has been red hot. Bursting onto the scene in 2006 he was charged with drink driving/reckless driving and suspended from driving a motor vehicle for five years. In 2007 while his license was suspended he was caught driving team mate Steve Irwin’s (actual name) car. When police attempted to pull the car over, Carney lead police on a high speed chase which ended with Todd fleeing the scene on foot, leaving Steve Irwin in the passenger seat. Like a ‘stingray barb’ to the heart Steve was stopped in his tracks and gave Toddy up as the driver. He was reported as saying

 “Crikey, did you see Toddy go. Looks like he is over that hamstring injury.  Also, can we keep this out of the papers Terri thinks I am ‘brown bread’ “.

Steve Irwin

Crikey is that the cops!

In 2008 Todd urinated on a man in a Canberra nightclub. The man had to undertake counselling to overcome the trauma of the incident because apparently it was a frequent occurrence with this individual. If you look below at the picture of the Canberra man in question you can see why Todd made the mistake. Understandably all charges were dropped.

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“Jesus Christ! Why does this keep happening to me?”

February 2009, Carney went on a vandalism spree in Goulburn, jumping on a car bonnet and damaging the entrance to a Fone Zone store which led to his banning from his hometown. Apparently the banning of Carney from Goulburn saw celebrations not seen since 1945.

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Down Town Goulburn after the banning of Todd Carney

In 2010 Carney allegedly injured a man by setting his pants on fire in an incident on New Year’s Eve. The man suffered burns to his buttock, scrotum and upper thighs after having his pants set alight while on holiday at Airlie Beach. Carney allegedly told friends that this man had told several untruths and therefore set his pants on fire.I believe Carney’s legal team sighted on old law instituted by Mother England in an attempt to educate the convicts. The law clearly states, “that if an individual is to be touting untruths then those in ear shot and only those in ear shot are legally allowed to set the individual’s pants on fire”.  This law is still practiced in Goulburn and therefore  no conviction was recorded.

In 2011 he was charged with drink driving and released by the Roosters. After this he was signed by the Sharks and Todd had a horror run in 2012/2013 with very few off field incidents.  It looked like his status as a future ‘Immortal Knob’ was in doubt. BUT, just like Viagra, you can’t keep a good knob down and Carney wrote himself into knob head folklore.

In 2014 Todd was pictured in a bathroom urinating in his own mouth or ‘mouff’ as it known to most Rugby league players.  As quickly as Todd’s mouth went Viral so did the picture.  Now I think Todd has received the rough end of the pineapple with this incident. It is clear to me that his behavior is improving. As previously mentioned in 2007 he allegedly urinated on a patron in a Canberra night club. Clearly he learned from this because after receiving counselings he  learned that you don’t do anything to anyone you wouldn’t like being done to you. So in an act of  compassion, empathy and complete redemption Todd pissed in his own ‘mouff’. I for one, applaud him. It takes a real man to piss in himself and a bigger man to swallow.

Ladies and Gentlemen,  Mr Todd Carney.

todd-carney-picture

Todd’s mouth went Viral before the picture did

It is at this juncture I would like to announce a new award that has been inspired by Todd Carney.  This prestigious award will be given to former players that have shown consistent knob head behaviour during and after their football careers. This player will be inducted as an ‘Immortal Knob’ and recognized for their anti-social services to rugby league.

With that I would like to announce:

The first Immortal Knob and recipient of the Bronze Bubbler Award’ to ‘The Public Unrinator, The Smooth Defacator’, ‘The Original Knob’my favorite and yours (except for Samantha Riley).

Mr Julian O’Neill

todd-carney-picture

This is how we remember the legend:

  • Conrad Jupiters Casino where he was reported to have urinated under a blackjack table, including indecent exposure and offensive behavior.
  • Played a season with the London Broncos and was released by them after a drink-driving offence.
  • He made a fresh start at the Western Reds in 1996 but was released in 1997 after being fined and disqualified from driving in Perth’s Magistrates Court.
  • In 1999 he was fined $10,000 by Souths over a pre-season tour incident where a drunken O’Neill defecated in the footwear of teammate Jeremy Schloss. O’Neill reportedly uttered the alliterative line, “I just shat it Schlossy’s shoe,” to his teammates.
  • In 2004 he was accused of drunkenly attempting to set fire to a 13-year-old boy who was wearing a foam-rubber dolphin mascot suit whilst on a river cruise in Port Macquarie. To avoid apprehension, O’Neill stripped to his underwear following the incident, dived into the Hastings River and swam to shore, before hitchhiking and being picked up by a passing car.

Julian O'Neill

Mr O’Neill you have paved the way for future generations with your actions. In an era with no social media and very few camera phones you managed to bring maximum attention to your unruly behavior. I believe that if you were in an era of Facebook, Twitter and Viber you would have put these young kids to shame. It is an honour to have you as the first Immortal Knob.

Any words Mr O’Neill,

 ‘The best thing I did for Jeremy Schloss was shit in his shoe. No one would know who that prick was if it wasn’t for my Edgar Brit’.
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Now the formalities of last season are out of the way I look forward to the 2015 season. Look out for The Biggest Knob in Rugby League Competition 2015 which I will post prior to Round 1 2015. I will analyse who are the trenders, contenders and the pretenders. But if recent events tell us anything, it looks like 2015 will be a big year.  

With that I will leave with a quote that will inspire you to greatness:

  “I just shat in Schlossy’s Shoe”

                                                                          Julian O’Neill  1998

Rant On.