Archive | March, 2014

The Emasculation of the Modern Male

20 Mar

“Males are scumbags, males cheat, males always think about sex, males are heartless, males don’t care enough, males aren’t empathetic or sympathetic, males are rapists, males are pedophiles, males are violent, males discriminate, chivalry  is dead.”

These are messages often pervade in the media and even worse they are openly stated by women. I am sick of turning on morning television to hear 3 haggard and divorced 50 somethings complain how awful men are. The amount of times I have seen and heard ‘male bashing’ by women is astounding. It seems that if you are female you can make gross generalizations about the male gender and make derogatory statements without any regard for the discriminatory nature of the statements you are making. There is an assumed right  to discriminate, or demonise men. How do they get away with their discriminatory comments? If three men sat there complaining about women I doubt it would go to air.

Up until recently I would ignore statements like, ‘men are pigs’,  ‘men are all shallow’, ‘men are untrustworthy’, ‘men are sexist’. If I publicly made the same sweeping generalizations about women I would be branded a misogynist or a sexist.  This misandry and male bashing is out of control and the worst part is you have a lot of the male population believing this bullshit.

 ‘ oh yes we are terrible, we do stare too much, we are sexist, we don’t open doors enough, I should have paid on the first date’.

Enough of the self deprecation. I take exception to being bundled in with the scum. It is offensive and ignorant.

download (7)

Gross generalisations and gender profiling has increased scrutiny on males and seen a rapid decline of men in certain professions. Teaching is a perfect example. The huge imbalance of male to female school teachers (especially primary school) is of massive concern.

Where are the male role models?

If the tables were turned the up roar would be huge. Inequality would be screamed from the highest tower. But all I can see is the next generation of men and women growing up without any male authority figures to relate to, empathize with or interact with. From a young child’s perspective a women represents trust and safety and a man a represents distrust and danger. The growing distrust of men in society must have a negative affect on how  young children perceive men.  Also what effect does this have on a young males’ self esteem if all he sees is reinforced negative male stereotypes. The world we currently live in demonises all men in the hope that in this sweeping generalistaion we protect children from the evil 1 percent. The problem is the 99 percent are discarded and unjustly judged. How is that for discrimination?

I wrote an article about how men are not allowed to sit next to children on any airline around the world . An overwhelming response from females on the blog was,


Well just ‘man up’.

To hear this from a female is not uncommon.

Effectivley this is saying, ‘put up, shut up and harden up’.  So as a male we have to accept discrimination, stop whining and get on with life.

What is the female equivalent?

Well there isn’t. For the sheer fact if you were to tell a woman to ‘put up, shut up and harden up’ you would be branded a sexist arsehole! After all aren’t we’re meant to be in touch with our emotional side? Well that depends what kind of week she is having. The fact is we are meant to tap into our emotional side when a woman needs an emotional crutch to to lean on but when that has passed the man is meant to be the stalwart, impervious to emotion that should simply adopt his male role and get over it. When a woman uses the term ‘man up’ it makes me laugh. Essentially she is saying ‘stop acting like a woman’. I bet if the latter was the accepted term it wouldn’t be as commonly used.

International Women’s Day occurred a few weeks ago and I was told by a female to spare a thought for women in the workplace and the discrimination they all suffer. Immediately I was taken aback. In my industry women’s rights are the of utmost importance so I took this guilt trip quite personally. So I asked her, have you ever experienced discrimination in your workplace?

Her answer, No.

Because we haven’t experienced discrimination in our industries doesn’t suggest that discrimination doesn’t exist. But I don’t think it is of epidemic proportions. I can almost feel some women screaming at the computer screens. But seriously have you been discriminated against in the workplace? Or are you just regurgitating a paragraph from The Daily Telegraph.  I believe that merit based promotion or job selection is the preferred tool used by most companies. But a worrying trend for certain women is to immediately default to their gender if they weren’t selected for a role.  It is easier to claim discrimination than actually have a discerning look at yourself and admit that you weren’t the best for the position.

Has another male been promoted over me in the past? Yes.

 Did I feel like I was better than him? Yes.

But instead of claiming unfairness or injustices I returned to my corner sought to better myself, strengthen my perceived weaknesses and prepared for another round. Blaiming males isn’t the answer to success it is just a temporary excuse for your own inabilities.

There are certain characteristics that men possess that I believe just come with the territory. We are visual beings.

download (6)


Several studies have shown that men react to visual stimuli more commonly than females. One such study, Sex Differences In Response to Visual Sexual Stimuli concluded that men appear more influenced by the sex of the actors depicted in the stimuli whiles women’s response may differ with the context presented. This being said, why are we constantly being made to feel like scumbags for looking. If women were designed the same way do you think they would tolerate this? They would claim this is who they are and they should just be accepted for what comes naturally. Studies further indicate that women take their cues from scenario based literacy.  How many women were made to feel bad for reading 50 shades of Grey. I saw several women reading this at work, on public transport and in cafes. This is just one paragraph from the book.

Excerpts 50 shades grey #4 – Anastasia has made friends with her ‘Inner Goddess’ 

“I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder … Hmm … My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.” (137)

Is this appropriate for the work place? Is this appropriate on public transport? Effectively it’s porn for women. But if I was to pull out a playboy, penthouse or some other form of magazine that would appeal to my male visual senses I would be quickly removed from the area. Some may argue that the public could see the content of the magazine so it isn’t fit to read in public. I tend to agree. But by that rationale it should be ok to have a copy of fifty shades of grey and a penthouse sitting on the coffee table in the privacy of one’s home? How many women would be comfortable with a pornographic magazine sitting in their living room? But as men we are meant to view ‘Christian grey’s large engorged member’ as rather acceptable. So we are encouraged to suppress our male urges, even feel bad about it. Hide the magazines, delete the browser history and say 50 Hail Mary’s. How dare we!

Chivalry is a dead.


The amount of times I have heard this phrase  is astounding. The reason it is dead ladies is that men are now so utterly confused that it is easier to leave you to your own devises. The word chivalry derived from a knights code;

“The Knight’s Code of Chivalry was a moral and honorable system that stated all knights should protect others who can not protect themselves, such as women, children, and elders. All knights needed to have the strength and skills to fight wars in the Middle Ages; they not only had to be strong but they were also extremely disciplined and were expected to use their power to protect the weak and defenseless.”

Rather archaic in it’s intention isn’t it. This suggests that women can’t protect themselves and need a man to institute a code to protect them. Such discrimination!

Is it any wonder males don’t want to hold a door open, lay their jacket over a body of water  or wait for you to be seated first. This would all suggest that you are in some way weaker and incapable of looking after yourself. So when you hear complaints about chivalry being dead don’t direct your disappointment at men. Take a look at yourself and the blood on your own hands.

Women have fought to achieve equality in Australia and some still fight but remember that not all males are against you. The feminist movement was about ending sexism and stereotypes. It was not about creating a new form of sexism. To put us all under the one banner seeks to turn friend into foe and compromises what you are setting out to achieve and that is equality. So when you are in public telling the world how terrible men are spare a thought for your father, son, brother or uncle. They are all men too.

Rant On.


6 Mar

What a year 2013 was for the National Rugby League. We had The Roosters win a Grand final, Queensland remain a force in Origin and the Golden Knob was awarded to Blake Ferguson for being the biggest dickhead in Rugby League, an honour that he took with both hands. Blake did such a good job at being a dickhead he still remains unsigned for season 2014. This effort is the stuff of legends which may never be repeated.


Sandor secretly loving Blake’s penis resting against his neck. Sandor and Blake no longer in the NRL

To receive his Rothman’s Medal for player of the year in 1991,  Ewen McGrady had to be escorted by police just to make it the Ceremony. Interestingly enough it was several police escorts that led Blake to his ‘knob of the year award’ in 2013.

Blake has been a worthy winner and has really taken to the people to celebrate his win. Not before publicly declaring that he had adopted the Muslim faith and rejected alcohol. I think choosing a religion that required him to go cold turkey was  an impossible leap of faith. If he  gave Christianity a look in he could have easily accounted for his drinking with a simple biblical reference to John 2:1-11.  The miracle of ‘water into wine’ is the perfect excuse if  he is ever caught drinking.  Or he could have  followed in Snoop Dogs/Lion’s lead and become a Rastafarian where his religion requires him to smoke weed.  He should have tested a few religions  before committing. So when Blake was seen in a pub drinking several schooners it left patrons a little perplexed. But when Blake pulled out his Golden beauty and sat it on the bar for all to see, everyone in the pub realized they were in the presence of greatness . One patron was quoted as saying in admiration,

“You don’t just get given those awards. You gotta earn them”

Golden Knob AwardOnce again well done on the win Blake but as they say, ‘last year’s Court papers, torn contracts, fines and victim testimonies are tomorrow’s fish and chip wrappers’. Therefore I would like to wipe the leader board clear and announce,


The same rules apply as last year with the addition of two new rules. In case you need a rule refresher please refer to the link below,

The two new rules for the 2014 season are as follows:

The Prodigal Son rule. If any player breaks their contract because they are home sick they awarded 500 points

Apparently when players sign $500000 a year contracts they don’t realize that Mummy and Daddy don’t come with it. I can’t believe the NRL didn’t warn these grown men that moving interstate required some maturity. The NRL have to take some responsibility in this situation and realise that these adults are receiving a wage 8 times more than the average person. How could you not expect them to indulge in gambling, drugs, alcohol, eventually cheat on their wives and then alienate their team mates. It is too much to expect them to value their circumstance, respect a contract and exude a level of professionalism. Apparently so.

PLEASE. The Ben Barba’s of this world need a kick up the arse.  He shat where he ate, left the Bulldogs to clean it up and then sighted the need to be around family as his excuse to cut his contract short. This new tactic of claiming social issues, dependency problems, depression and then running back to family simply reeks. It’s like dealing with kids who are on camp or on their first day of school.

“oh Mrs Barba, Ben has been crying all morning and says he misses you. You better come by and pick him up. He is in the sick bay because he says he is feeling down”.

Ben misses Mum on the first day of Broncos training

Ben misses Mum on the first day of Broncos training

Man up you bunch of mummies boys.  I wonder if the Epic Bender Crew have moved to Brisbane to keep Benny company. EBC for life! Dickheads.

Rule 2.

The Buddy Rule.

Luke-Ricketson-Buddy-FranklinThis has nothing to do with mate ship and has everything to do with Buddy Franklin. This knob head from the south brings a fun boy persona to Sydney that has seen him captured with other dislikable peanuts like Quade Cooper and James O’Connor. Any league player pictured with Buddy will incur a 250 point penalty. If you pair the ‘Buddy rule’ with the ‘Knob Trifecta’ (Rule 15) you will receive 500 point penalty, this is known as the ‘First four’ infraction. If any player then rolls this ‘First four’ infraction into a picture with Mundine (Rule 3) you will receive a 1000 point penalty. To clarify, the photo must include Buddy Franklin, Quade Cooper, SBW, Mundine and the player in question. You would need a bloody wide angel lens to get all these egos in one shot. Might need to set it to panorama

Rule 3: 

The Rocky Rule: Any player that announces a boxing career or aspirations for a boxing career will be awarded a 500 point penalty. Further to this if they fight and lose it’s 1000 points.

Paul Gallen's next opponent

Paul Gallen’s next opponent

Pretty sure the world is sick of Rugby League players stepping into the ring,  Gallen, Williams, Ferguson, Mundine, amd Hopoate to name a few.  Fighting 50 year old no names from New Zealand doesn’t count as a professional career. The undercard for the last Mundine fight  had Blake Ferguson  on debut as the semi main event. While Jarrod Fletcher ,  a very accomplished amateur,  a Commonwealth games gold medal winner and now a professional, fought in Ferguson’s false shadow. The hilarious thing is Ferguson fought a guy with no real experience and still lost. Not only do these knobs disrespect themselves they disrespect  boxers who train and fight hard to earn a spot on the card just to have talent-less footballers skip the queue.

An anonymous source from the boxing fraternity best said it when asked about NRL players turning to pro boxing,

“too stupid for nrl, so as an elite athlete with years of training and money invested in them they move to another sport, take on competition that is anything but elite- almost exclusively hand picked opponents who train part time and have extremely limited experience- and then displace actual elite boxers on pay per view cards, taking money out of their pockets while making Australian boxing look like a joke despite the fact that we have a wealth of boxing talent available at the moment”

Stick to football fellas. At least that way you have 12 other people to blame when it comes crashing down.

It wouldn’t be a season launch without predicting who I think will be the top 5 players in the running for the Golden Knob Award for 2014.

5. Sam Burgess (sloth).

Sam Burgess

Big Sammy started the season off by announcing that he is running off to Rugby Union in England. This in itself brings an immediate penalty of 100 points in accordance with Rule 13. Having a late surge last year with antics such as squeezing a Melbourne Storm players jatz crackers I see him having an almighty year. Having secured a contract in England and with brother George cocked and ready to go I think we should prepare ourselves for the sloth to have quite an impact in the social scene. He is at long odds but with the no tomorrow in the NRL it could make for an interesting today.

4. Josh Dugan.

images (5)

Get ready dragon fans. This is how hard Josh Dugan trains during the season.

Well doesn’t this man have some form. From the ACT stables young Dugan has the ability to play for Australia and an even greater ability to be a dickhead. He bolted early last year with his release from the Raiders and the Ferguson booze up but then died off towards the end of the season. There was no real trouble from Dugan in the second half of the year which saw him drop out of the race for the gong. Dugan’s form through his career has made it easy for our team of advisers to predict how his season will unfold:

Feigning injury after injury he will play no more than 6 games straight. He will then come back and play just enough football, score some brilliant individual tries, but at the same time be of no actual benefit to the club. While injured he will do something stupid under the influence of alcohol which will attract police attention and club penalties. This will happen 2-3 times in the season. He will cause in fighting among the players because of his special treatment  and will poison the side. Will it be enough for the ‘Golden Knob’? One hopes.

 3. Benny ‘Bender’ Barba

I told you to cook me some fucking eggs

I told you to cook me some fucking eggs

A big Chris Brown and  Prodigy fan, young Barba,  prior to last years indiscretions, was allegedly seen with his big headphones on bopping along to one of his favourite songs, ‘Smack my Bitch Up’.

Oh come on who isn’t guilty of listening to a song and then acting it out. Fergo and Dugan had been listening to ‘The Fiddler on the Roof’ soundtrack before their ‘breezer moment’ and apparently Sandor Earl’s favourite song is ‘infomer’  and we all know how that played out,  A Licky Boom Boom Down!

But instead of staying at the Bulldogs, the club that protected him while he allegedly partied the house down and allegedly beat women, good old Benny Boy flew the coup. The avoidance of responsibility and refusal of accountability mean that he is a great contender for 2014. Depending on his choice of soundtrack for this season we may hear more from Barbarino.

2. Jake Friend.

This may seem like a harsh choice but as the old saying goes, you can’t keep a good man down. After runs with police for assualt in 2009 and for possession of a prescription drug without a prescription in 2010, Friend has had a 3 year, blemish free, stint. His football has been excellent and representative honours beckon in 2014.

But Friend is my bolter for 2014. The Roosters are flying high after last years Premeirship and they look like absolute morals for back to back competition wins. Something needs to happen to unsteady this ship and I think Friend is the man to do it.

1. The Hopoate’s

HoppaBig John Hopoate has had more court appearances than Roger Federer and left an imprint or should I say a finger print on the game of Rugby League. He is the first player and still remains the only man to get charged with ‘brown eye gouging’. Still in and around the court system Big Hoppa has two sons playing in the NRL. One a devout Mormon the other a devout Moron.

Will Hopaote apparently takes after his mother and is a seemingly mild mannered man. He is back in the NRL after doing 2 years service as a missionary in the Mormon faith. He is playing for the Parramatta Eels and hoping to lead them on a pilgrimage to the top of the NRL ladder.

Enter brother Jamil;  after allegedly assaulting someone in Manly he has been dropped by Parramatta for season 2014 but he is hoping to sign with another club before the season is over. Jamil seems to have taken after his father and although he is still in the under 20’s he looks to have the makings of a future ‘Golden Knob’ recipient. In a recent court appearance the judge allegedly told young Jamil to ‘pull his finger out of his backside, stop getting in trouble and get back to playing football’.  After years of watching his dad stick his finger in backsides he was a little perplexed at the direction given by the judge but none the less promised to oblige. All I can say is that if you have eight kids and pack them full of athletic ability and combine them with the intellect of Big Hoppa you are bound to ensure a legacy for years to come. What kind of legacy remains to be seen.

Of course I may be wrong about all of the players mentioned above. But just like the NRL we only pay on results. So let the games begin and we will see you when it’s all over.

Oh just before I wrap it up. If Mitchell Pearce is selected to play Origin again this year then Laurie and the team of NSW Selectors may be given a special award.  At least they will be able to walk away from another lost series with a bit of silverware (or golden-ware) for the cabinet.

Happy NRL Season Everyone,

Rant On