What’s Goodes for the Goose is not Goodes for the Gander.

1 Jun


I am sorry Adam Goodes but claiming that you were performing a war dance for cultural significance is a complete load of bullshit. The reason you were performing a war dance was to incite and provoke the opposition crowd. The fact you are not coming forward and owning your actions is predominantly why you are losing the crowd. Goodes claims it was a cultural celebration and ‘he was expressing his Aboriginality and everyone should take a chill pill’. Well Adam I wonder how you would react if your child or family was in that group of supporters? How would you explain that to a 10 year old

‘oh that’s ok son he is allowed to imitate a violent act and threaten a crowd, he’s Aboriginal’.

I could think of many non threatening ways Adam Goodes could have celebrated his Aboriginality and his culture. To choose a war dance was deliberate and inciteful. He actually revealed after the incident that him and another indigenous player had planned to do this dance if either one of them scored a goal. It didn’t occur to him that this kind of action may be interpreted the wrong way?  I don’t really know of any threats of violence that are ever taken lightly, especially at a football match where passions are running  high and  your team is being heavily defeated. How is it a cultural celebration when it was deliberately directed at one section of the crowd?  Was Goodes singling these people out because they were Cartlon supporters? One may say that what he was doing was a form of bullying. Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. If he had done the dance in the middle of the field in no particular direction I don’t think we would even be talking about it. But he did single a group of people out which I think is where he went wrong.

Now I am not saying that the war dance doesn’t have its place. Given the right context  it does have cultural significance and should be given a platform. But that particular moment he chose to do it was inappropriate.  Why didn’t Goodes choose the ‘Bungkul’ or ‘Wungubal’ which are dances that are typically very lively with jumps by the men with more demure movements by woman? This a ‘social dance’ that has absolutely no war like qualities. I can tell you why! Because his intention wasn’t to celebrate Aboriginal culture it was to provoke the opposition crowd.

What if during the Anzac Day match an Essendon player (of any cultural background) went over to bunch of Collingwood supporters and imitated shooting them all down with a machine gun?  It would be in incredibly poor taste and heavily scrutinized.
The whole point of the indigenous round is to support and celebrate indigenous culture. So that we can come together and harmonise as a  community.  Did Adam Goode’s action set to bridge the cultural gap? I don’t think so.

An argument thrown forward in support of Goode’s is the New Zealand Haka. This is a war dance and is a heavily celebrated piece of cultural theatre that has pride of place in world sport.

I personally love it.

But this is always conducted before the match and given the appropriate platform pre – game. Never is the war dance produced during a match or after a scoring play. Why? Because if it is taken out of context in can be construed as threatening or violent. Lets not forget it’s a war dance, something that was performed prior to killing the enemy.

But even today there is  disparity in regards to the Haka. No oppostion team is allowed to advance on the Haka. They are not allowed to outwardly react to the Haka. You must stand there while the New Zealanders make threatening gestures and violently intimidate the opposition. As matter of fact in a show of the solidarity in the 2011 Rugby World Cup final the French rugby team advanced on the Haka and they were fined $10000 by the International Rugby Board for doing so.  How is this equal?  The reaction to an opposition war dance was to walk arm in arm towards it. Isn’t this fair? Two proud teams displaying pride in their cultures before they respectfully went into battle. The only problem being is that one team was penalized for showing it.

I think this is where the crux of the argument lies. Adam Goodes quite rightly called a young girl out for calling him and ‘ape’. An inappropriate,  uneducated racists remark that has no place in any sporting code. He sort to establish boundaries and rules. A definitive line between passionate support and inappropriate behavior. Well Mr Goodes you crossed that line on the weekend. Threatening violence in the form of a war dance during the game was not the time or place for it. Own your decision, admit that possibly it wasn’t  the best idea. No one is saying don’t do it. Just choose a different time to do it.

I think all Australians should celebrate the Aboriginal culture and the war dance should be seen more often. As a matter of fact the NRL provides a platform for ‘the war dance’ prior to the Indigenous vs All Stars match and it is well received by all players and the crowd.

Adam Goode’s is Aboriginal but this doesn’t mean he is above scrutiny. Granted the Aboriginal people have endured a disproportionate amount of oppression but the way forward isn’t to turn a blind eye to threats of violence masked by cultural celebrations. Goode’s needs to educate the Australian public in the ways of the ‘war dance’ in a neutral setting and not in the middle of an AFL match and not directed at one section of the crowd.

Adam Goode’s take responsinilty for your actions and celebrate your Aboriginality.

Rant On.

The Pearce Effect

27 May

Pearce Choke

You have to admit that through the game there was that old feeling. The feeling that I thought we had finally absolved ourselves from last year. The ‘no matter what happens we won’t win’ feeling. This feeling I refer to as the ‘Pearce Effect’.

Lets start with the positives.

Mitchell Pearce had a good first half. He completed a set move  by executing a deft pass to Beau Scott which lead to the first try. His kicking game was ok, although I believe, somewhat fortuitous. His kicks landed just shy of the try line with Billy Slater trying in vain to get a 7 tackle restart. They landed inch perfect so lets give Pearce the benefit of the doubt on that. He took the line on a few times and threatened to make a line break but was taken down with some last ditch defence. All in all he played a solid first half.

The Mitchell Pearce I expected to start the game unfortunately arrived for the second half. His kicking game was absolutely diabolical. He gets paid $800000 a year. Can someone teach him how to do a spiral bomb? I would even welcome a floater.  Adam Reynolds are you free for a master class? The Pearce ‘half bomb’s’ are the least threatening attacking kicks I have ever seen. Slater could literally take them behind his back.  I go to the local park and practice bombs with my nephew and whenever I put up a simple ‘end over end’ bomb, my nephew states,

‘oh that was a Pearcey give me something harder’ (actually a true story).

Now that statement is from child, if he knows what to expect from a Pearce kick imagine the delight for the Queensland back three.

But back to the game. NSW played terribly in that second half, BUT, they unbelievably held Queensland to 10-10 when finally they got some field position. In the 71st minute they were on the 3rd tackle, 20m out and directly in front of goal.  Now I blame both halves for not controlling the game here. But one of those halves has played 13 origin games. 13 bloody games!! The other has played 4. Who do expect to control the game here?  This leads me to the point I make year after year.


He completely left the building in this set of six. Even after him and Hodkinson decided to run the ball 3 times, the final kick was left to Jennings in which he put dead and allowed Queensland a 7 tackle restart. Queensland marched downfield and hit the field goal in clinical fashion with both their halves controlling play.

NSW had  a chance to seal victory but the responsibility fell into the hands of a guy that has 10 losses and 3 wins at origin level. How many more 1 point losses do NSW need to endure before this guy gets the chop.

Unbelievably reporters say that Pearce silenced the critics. Was it silence from shock? Even a mate said, ‘hey credit where credit is due, he played well in the first half’! Yep but unfortunately there are two havles in a game of origin. This statement had tones of, ‘well he wasn’t as bad as we thought’. Does this qualify as a pass mark for Mitchell Pearce now? I couldn’t care less whether Pearce did nothing all game as long as he executes plays when it counts.  13 origins should come with some level of composure, if it doesn’t then you shouldn’t be on the field.

Hodgkinson played a shockingly as well. But when he has played 13 games I will put him under the same amount of scrutiny.

Pearce cannot win at Origin level. We know it, he knows and worst of all Queensland knows it. It is for all these reasons that he shouldn’t be selected again. It’s like when you play a younger sibling in backyard footy. They may get close to winning somedays but at the end of the day you know you have the edge. Well Pearcey you will always be that younger sibling and that will never change.

Rant on

Farewell Mr Benaud

10 Apr

download (2)

Ranting and raving about the problems of the world is my usual modus operandi, a therapy of sorts or simply a way to cope with the realities of the world.  But today the bear within has been silenced. The rants are taking a backseat to pay tribute to a legend.

As a young man I grew up with Richie being ‘the voice of summer’. My passion and love for  the game of cricket can be directly attributed to this man. Richie wouldn’t command attention by imposing himself on his audience, he would simply impart his knowledge and the history of the game through a genuine passion and understanding. When Richie Benaud spoke everyone listened, not because they had to but because they wanted to. Right until the end of his career he managed to engage people of all ages. From children right through to the elderly he remained relevant, on point and interesting. Unlike most of the new commentators he didn’t speak to just be heard, he spoke when he had something of relevance to say. Which lucky for us was quite often.

 “My mantra, put your brain into gear and if you can add to what’s on the screen then do it, otherwise shut up”   Richie Benaud.

Richie would not only talk about his beloved Australian team but all cricket teams. He was a conduit between the past and the present players of all cricketing nations.  While observing techniques of present players he would make reference to former players of similar styles. Often comparing two cricketers from two completely different countries. Thus bridging the cultural divide  and educating all who were watching and reminding us of the others that walked before us. Sunil Gavaskar, Wasim Akram, Sir Garfield Sobers, Sir Richard Hadlee, The Don, Joel Garner, Arjuna Ranatunga,  Keith Miller, Kapil Dev are but hundreds of players that are forever burned into my memory. There aren’t  too many sports around the world where you can name past and present players from various national sides dating back to the 1930’s. I attribute this in part to Richie Benaud.

Richie Benaud was a gentleman. Throughout his career as a sportsman and commentator Richie always held himself to a high standard. He never lowered himself to swearing, trash talking or any form of skulduggery. He was a fierce competitor, an honourable Captain and a successful commentator, all while maintaining grace and decorum. This didn’t mean he was a soft touch and he didn’t mix words when he believed something was inappropriate or unsportsmanlike.  I believe that Australia’s sense of sportsmanship and fair play was influenced by Richie Benaud  and this link says it all,

The Underarm Bowl

After seeing this you, you can clearly see why the man was so well liked and respected around the world. To come on national television and speak so passionately gives us an insight into the type captain and leader he was. I bet if he was in the commentary team for the 2015 World Cup Final the behavior of some the Australian team would have come under the same scrutiny.

Richie led a commentary team that provided cricket lessons, tactical hints, anecdotes and insights that could easily see you through a 5 day test match. But a highlight for me was when Shane Warne was bowling and Richie was commentating. The genuine insight into the mind of a leg spin bowler enabled me to not only appreciate Warne’s skill but his ‘chess like’ approach to his craft. Benaud would guide you through every step of the way and give the viewers an insight into the game that was truly special.

His knowledge of cricket was well documented but I think my favourite part of Richie Benaud’s commentary were his subtle jokes. His dry wit and softly spoken elegance  enabled him to slide a joke into a conversation without breaking stride and leave his audience either completely oblivious or in fits of laughter.

“And Glenn McGrath dismissed for two, just ninety-eight runs short of his century.”

I never lived through the Bradman era but people like Richie Benaud enabled me to fully appreciate his legend. I am just happy that I was able to grow up in the Benaud era and witness for myself a true legend.

Thanks for teaching  me cricket and what sportsmanship really means.

Farewell Mr Benaud

How Australia Lost The Cricket World Cup

2 Apr


The Australian Coach and Brad Haddin celebrating their win as ‘World Champions Dickheads’

Well what a bunch of complete dickheads the Australia Cricket Team are (except Steve Smith)!  Never has a victory felt more hollow. I thought it was because Brendan McCullum went cheaply in the first over but that wasn’t the case.

Growing up I loved the spirit in which Australians played sport. Often the under dogs we would fight hard and fair, with a tough, ‘never say die’ attitude.

Win or lose I was proud to be an Australian.

I believe our sense of competition and sportsmanship evolved from the spirit of the ANZACS. The type of men that were faced with impossible odds, fought with their lives and still came away with a mutual respect for and from their enemy.

John Mcenroe, Dennis Conner, Ian Botham, and Douglas Jardin were the type of characters we loved to hate. The pompous, arrogant, unsportsman like antagonsits that drove Australians to try harder to achieve the impossible and beat these wankers.

Enter the Australian Cricket Team. Their ‘pig headed, win at all cost attitude’ made me ashamed to be Australian. These bunch of bogans lead by ‘Boof’ may get results but at what cost. The treatment they gave to the New Zealand players was disgraceful.  Screaming in the faces of McCullum, Vittori, Guptill and Elliot was extremely disrespectful and just showed how weak these bunch of Australian wankers are. I used to see  Australian representatives as an extention of my self but all I saw was the type of dickheads you see in the local RSL after a game of club cricket deciding who bowled the best nut, who has the worst ‘salad’ and what rub and tug they were going to visit that night.

Completely classless,  the lot of them.

If you are a true champion you don’t need that type of ‘carry on’. Considering we have the most mentally fragile characters in the game (Watson and Johnson) I find it quite ironic that Haddin called the kiwis ‘too soft’. No Brad it’s called respect.

The weight of expectation from the New Zealand Public and the illness to Martin Crowe meant the New Zealanders were shouldering immense pressure to perform and a fair bit of emotional baggage as well.

Did they resort to ‘dickhead behaviour’?

No.  Quite the opposite. Brendan McCullum handled himself with complete aplomb when addressing the opposition, the media and his peers. After every conference I walked away thinking, ‘I wish he was an Australian’. Even when prompted by the media in the last interview, McCullum would not resort to finger pointing or highlighting the Australians  behavior. Pure  Pure Class.

Only last night Martin Crowe gave a stirring tribute to Dan Vettori:

“And I saw Dan Vettori …and I just burst open with all the emotion that I had. He gave me a huge hug and I just said, what a career, what an inspiration.

“You set the benchmark for everyone in this team, a class of skill, devotion – you know, I, ..that was the moment for me, March 29, was Dan limping off for the last time.

Daniel Vittori has been an absolute stalwart for New Zealand. He has saved or made countless innings for his country. The treatment he received, on what may have been his last one day international, was abhorrent. Yet we stand and applaud a bogan who once tried to leave without singing the team song to see Lara Bingle and get another Arabic tattoo. Only to have Michael Katich dropped for trying to stop it. This bloke is so ‘off’ even his hamstrings didn’t want to stay attached to him. If you want to see  how champions conduct themselves then click on this link for Martin Crowe’s Emotional Tribute to Vettori.

Invariably someone will argue, ‘well the Aussies needed  to do it to win’!  Being a condescending, arrogant dick is never needed  to win. I was watching the game with my nephew and instead of jumping in the air and celebrating I was telling  him, ‘the way Brad Haddin just carried on is never acceptable. I was half expecting Michael Clarke to order that the rest of the 49 overs be bowled underarm. That is how low we have sunk.

The Australian people are now  looking towards the All Blacks to see what a true champion team looks like. I have many Australian mates that hold them in high regard, higher than any Australian team. The All Blacks are humble, respectful and never resort to unsportsmanlike behaviour to achieve a win. They follow 5 lessons of leadership and if follow the link below you will see why they are the most inspiring sporting team in the world.

The five lessons of leadership from the All Blacks

Even our other codes are looking abroad for their guidance. Last month, Laurie Daley spent time with the All Blacks in an attempt to harness the culture that has been bred among the team. Since when do we have to look at other nations to give us an example of decency and sportsmanship. Have we slipped so far. It isn’t that Australia has run out of winners, we have simply run out of champions.

The Australian cricket team are meant to be the champions of the world and I wouldn’t bother raising a glass to them.  There is maybe one or two blokes I would have a beer but the rest I am happy to leave in the gutter with Warnie.

I am sorry but their behavior is ‘unaustralian’. Yes there is that word ‘unaustralian’. I have lived here for 36 years which makes me pretty qualified in judging it. UNAUSTRALIAN. Or maybe their behaviour is now typically Australian? If it is then something drastic has to change otherwise Boof, Warnie, the big show and the other dickheads can kindly remove the coat of arms from their playing strip because they don’t represent me or Australia.

As of today, the coach Darren Lehman has come out and said,

‘we haven’t been charged by the match committee so our behaviour musnt have been too bad’.

Wow what a mature response from the coach.  As a 45 year old man, if you need someone else to point your moral compass for you, then mate you have no chance. You shouldn’t need a committee to tell you that your teams behaviour was acceptable or unacceptable. Any one with a shred of decency would have seen that the Aussies needed to pull their heads in. As they say a fish rots from the head and Mr Lehman you having very rotten head.

I have news to the Australian Cricket Team. Coming first makes you a winner but winning with class and respect makes you a champion.

We didn’t come close to winning the Gallipoli campaign. We took an absolute pasting but a 100 years on what do we remember? The result or how we conducted ourselves?

Congratulations to New Zealand on the victory. You are the true champions in my mind.


When Good Men Do Nothing

26 Feb

Myuran Sukumaran and Andrew Chan are two young men that went down the wrong path. They intimidated, threatened and influenced others to import and smuggle drugs. They were legally and morally devoid when they  committed their crimes, almost 10 years ago. They disregarded their family, friends, the Indonesian and  the Australian people.  Their selfish acts  directly destroyed seven peoples lives and indirectly affected the lives of people with substance abuse issues.

They are criminals.

I am not here to convince you that these men are angels, but, to deny them a chance of redemption by taking their life seems hopeless, futile and inhumane.

In Saudi Arabia and Iran they have a concept call Hudud. It is practiced strictly under Sharia law. These include the religious crimes of adultery, fornication, homosexuality, apostasy, consuming intoxicants, transgression, highway robbery and theft. In sharia law, Hudud crimes trigger a class of punishments that range from public lashing, publicly stoning to death, amputation of hands or public execution. These sentences are currently carried out in both these countries.

As a nation we publicly denounce these archaic and barbaric acts. In the modern world these punishments ‘do not’ fit the crime. The problem is, these laws over simplify an often complicated situation. Initially justice may seem to be served but what has really been achieved. Crime, adultery and homosexuality still exist in these countries regardless of the harsh punishments. The only thing these punishments do is feed evil and decrease the value of human life. That is why the argument of  ‘their country, their rules’ is completely ridiculous. Just because it is law in another country doesn’t make it acceptable on a world scale. The people who support the execution of Myuran Sukumaran and Andrew Chan  help promote this form of justice.  As the law abiding majority we institute laws based on societal moral codes. If we support killing another person then how are we any different from the criminals we send to jail.

Do we hold the moral high ground if we can seemingly  justify this callous and barbaric act?

The fact is you can never justify killing someone in this manner, regardless of any countries set of laws . Our justice system keeps us from lowering ourselves to a criminal level, by not taking the life of another human being. As a modern day society that is our responsibility to one other.

Maintain life, preserve it, rehabilitate it and save it, if and when we can.

Many people have argued, the drugs that the Bali Nine attempted to smuggle would  have killed countless people. To hold them entirely responsible for drug induced deaths is over simplifying the issues of ‘societal drug addiction’. Their drug importation would have certainly contributed to drug consumption but a myriad of factors are responsible for the death of drug users. To attribute the deaths of all drug takers to Myuran and Andrew only serves to support a hollow agenda to justify their executions and make them more palatable.

Would they have kept importing if they hadn’t been caught? Probably.

In order for Myuran and Andrew to operate their drug syndicate they chose ignore the big picture in order justify their actions. They didn’t consider repercussions. They never thought or cared , ‘who will actually be affected by this’. They blindly and carelessly enacted their crimes.

Aren’t those in support of this execution, thinking exactly the same way?

Aren’t they simply ignoring the big picture to justify the means?

This is what should be considered before condemning these men to death. Could I  in fact shoot these men to death? Could I take these two  lives by my own hands? Could I watch televised pictures of the execution? Could I watch these men being placed against a post and a bullet fired into their skulls? Could I watch the final beat of their heart and their last breath? (Watch this video. Watch it all the way through. It is painful.* WARNING: This VIDEO contains a man executed by firing squad.)

If the answer is ‘Yes’ to all those questions, then I pity you and I seriously fear for your mental state. Because trust me, from experience, to see life leave a person’s body is something you do not forget. I could imagine that being responsible for taking a life would be even more devastating. Just ask our armed service men and woman and see if they found it easy to kill  (even if it was an enemy) and then live with it.  A piece of your humanity withers and never recovers.

If the answer is ‘No’ then you can’t possibly support this madness. To support it on social media or even from privacy of your home, means, you are in part responsible, for the deaths of these two human beings. By taking a backseat supporting role you are blinding yourself from the horror of this event. Get your face in it, surround yourself by it, indulge in it, take responsibility for it because to do anything but, is a complete act of cowardice.

We don’t cut off limbs, we don’t stone people to death and we don’t put people to death by firing squad . No family should ever have to suffer the loss of a loved one in this manner.  Compassion, forgiveness and love is what criminals like Myuran Sukumaran and Andrew Chan need, even when they may not deserve it. Use this instead of a bullet and see how it makes you feel.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing”.

                                                                                                           Edmund Burke


Rant On.

The Biggest Knob in Rugby League Winner 2014

24 Feb

At the commencement of each competition it is tradition to crown the winner from the previous year.

This year saw the emergence of new faces and the resurgence of old ones. The charge sheet reads: assault, drink driving, sexual assault, spousal abuse, drug trafficking and manslaughter. Wow! The 2014 competition was the toughest yet, well at least since 2013.

It was nice to see some former players keeping their heads in the game, Craig field dabbled in some manslaughter while Matt Sears and Jason Smith were charged with trafficking cocaine. It is now clear how Jason Smith played until he was 40 and how Matt Sears ran down Brett Mullins in the final series in 1993. I thought it was Matt Sear’s speed but it was clearly his coke.  

The Runners up for 2014

  1. Mitchell ‘the myth’ Pearce. Well we finally found a decent NSW halves pairing in Mitchell Pearce and Melissa Erroja. The coming together of these two hugely talented and classy individuals ensured that NSW finally won an Origin Series. Although Erroja had a better kicking game than Pearce, Mitchell was able to mentor her on the ability to do nothing and build a career on it. But in all seriousness thank you Mitchell for being a knob and securing us an origin title. As with every new year Pearce will be back in contention with Matt Johns, Sterlo and the rest of the NRL cronies telling us that he is in “career best form” and pushing for selection.

 Blues Saviour

  SOS yellow dress, NSW needs you early May.

  1. Jamil Hopoate, who the bookies had ranked in the number 1 position to take out the ‘Golden Knob’ for 2014, (check out here) did his best by assaulting a person outside a pub and being sentenced to 1 year jail. Only being a fringe first grade player it was hard to give Jamil the award. But It isn’t the end of the world, Will Hopoate was away for 2 years being a Mormon and Jamil will only be away for 1 year being a moron. It’s a great effort for a rookie to finish number 2 and needless to say, his father John Hopoate was as proud as punch……. kick, elbow and knees.Hoppa
  2. Kirisome Avua’a. Was charged and convicted of assaulting his ex-girlfriend. Once again I think Kirisome copped a bad deal. He was told that the NRL would not tolerate spousal abuse so he broke up with his partner before assaulting her. Common sense kicked in (excuse the pun) when Souths or Souffs (as they’re officially known) managed to conceal this crime to enable Kirisome to play the finals. Glory Glory!

Now to the winner:

In a year where the entire Cronulla Sharks Organization could have won the award, one shark stood above them all.

 I take great pleasure in announcing the winner of the 2014 Biggest Knob in Rugby League Competition and recipient of The Golden Knob’ is none other than:

Golden Knob

Todd proves that you can ban the boy from Goulburn but you can’t ban the Goulburn from the boy. Carney by name and Carney by nature, his form in this competition has been red hot. Bursting onto the scene in 2006 he was charged with drink driving/reckless driving and suspended from driving a motor vehicle for five years. In 2007 while his license was suspended he was caught driving team mate Steve Irwin’s (actual name) car. When police attempted to pull the car over, Carney lead police on a high speed chase which ended with Todd fleeing the scene on foot, leaving Steve Irwin in the passenger seat. Like a ‘stingray barb’ to the heart Steve was stopped in his tracks and gave Toddy up as the driver. He was reported as saying

 “Crikey, did you see Toddy go. Looks like he is over that hamstring injury.  Also, can we keep this out of the papers Terri thinks I am ‘brown bread’ “.

Steve Irwin

Crikey is that the cops!

In 2008 Todd urinated on a man in a Canberra nightclub. The man had to undertake counselling to overcome the trauma of the incident because apparently it was a frequent occurrence with this individual. If you look below at the picture of the Canberra man in question you can see why Todd made the mistake. Understandably all charges were dropped.


“Jesus Christ! Why does this keep happening to me?”

February 2009, Carney went on a vandalism spree in Goulburn, jumping on a car bonnet and damaging the entrance to a Fone Zone store which led to his banning from his hometown. Apparently the banning of Carney from Goulburn saw celebrations not seen since 1945.


Down Town Goulburn after the banning of Todd Carney

In 2010 Carney allegedly injured a man by setting his pants on fire in an incident on New Year’s Eve. The man suffered burns to his buttock, scrotum and upper thighs after having his pants set alight while on holiday at Airlie Beach. Carney allegedly told friends that this man had told several untruths and therefore set his pants on fire.I believe Carney’s legal team sighted on old law instituted by Mother England in an attempt to educate the convicts. The law clearly states, “that if an individual is to be touting untruths then those in ear shot and only those in ear shot are legally allowed to set the individual’s pants on fire”.  This law is still practiced in Goulburn and therefore  no conviction was recorded.

In 2011 he was charged with drink driving and released by the Roosters. After this he was signed by the Sharks and Todd had a horror run in 2012/2013 with very few off field incidents.  It looked like his status as a future ‘Immortal Knob’ was in doubt. BUT, just like Viagra, you can’t keep a good knob down and Carney wrote himself into knob head folklore.

In 2014 Todd was pictured in a bathroom urinating in his own mouth or ‘mouff’ as it known to most Rugby league players.  As quickly as Todd’s mouth went Viral so did the picture.  Now I think Todd has received the rough end of the pineapple with this incident. It is clear to me that his behavior is improving. As previously mentioned in 2007 he allegedly urinated on a patron in a Canberra night club. Clearly he learned from this because after receiving counselings he  learned that you don’t do anything to anyone you wouldn’t like being done to you. So in an act of  compassion, empathy and complete redemption Todd pissed in his own ‘mouff’. I for one, applaud him. It takes a real man to piss in himself and a bigger man to swallow.

Ladies and Gentlemen,  Mr Todd Carney.


Todd’s mouth went Viral before the picture did

It is at this juncture I would like to announce a new award that has been inspired by Todd Carney.  This prestigious award will be given to former players that have shown consistent knob head behaviour during and after their football careers. This player will be inducted as an ‘Immortal Knob’ and recognized for their anti-social services to rugby league.

With that I would like to announce:

The first Immortal Knob and recipient of the Bronze Bubbler Award’ to ‘The Public Unrinator, The Smooth Defacator’, ‘The Original Knob’my favorite and yours (except for Samantha Riley).

Mr Julian O’Neill


This is how we remember the legend:

  • Conrad Jupiters Casino where he was reported to have urinated under a blackjack table, including indecent exposure and offensive behavior.
  • Played a season with the London Broncos and was released by them after a drink-driving offence.
  • He made a fresh start at the Western Reds in 1996 but was released in 1997 after being fined and disqualified from driving in Perth’s Magistrates Court.
  • In 1999 he was fined $10,000 by Souths over a pre-season tour incident where a drunken O’Neill defecated in the footwear of teammate Jeremy Schloss. O’Neill reportedly uttered the alliterative line, “I just shat it Schlossy’s shoe,” to his teammates.
  • In 2004 he was accused of drunkenly attempting to set fire to a 13-year-old boy who was wearing a foam-rubber dolphin mascot suit whilst on a river cruise in Port Macquarie. To avoid apprehension, O’Neill stripped to his underwear following the incident, dived into the Hastings River and swam to shore, before hitchhiking and being picked up by a passing car.

Julian O'Neill

Mr O’Neill you have paved the way for future generations with your actions. In an era with no social media and very few camera phones you managed to bring maximum attention to your unruly behavior. I believe that if you were in an era of Facebook, Twitter and Viber you would have put these young kids to shame. It is an honour to have you as the first Immortal Knob.

Any words Mr O’Neill,

 ‘The best thing I did for Jeremy Schloss was shit in his shoe. No one would know who that prick was if it wasn’t for my Edgar Brit’.
2000 201009200074

Now the formalities of last season are out of the way I look forward to the 2015 season. Look out for The Biggest Knob in Rugby League Competition 2015 which I will post prior to Round 1 2015. I will analyse who are the trenders, contenders and the pretenders. But if recent events tell us anything, it looks like 2015 will be a big year.  

With that I will leave with a quote that will inspire you to greatness:

  “I just shat in Schlossy’s Shoe”

                                                                          Julian O’Neill  1998

Rant On.

Fire doesn’t discriminate and neither do we

26 May
Our wonderful firefighters working to raise funds for a fellow firefighters sick child

Our wonderful firefighters (female and male) working to raise funds for a fellow firefighter’s sick child on Saturday.


Please read the following article that was written today. There is an imbalance in the numbers of males and females in the firefighting industry but to assume this is because we promote a culture of sexism and discrimination is simply not true.


My response to the editor:

I am a Senior Fire Fighter in the ACT and I am extremely upset at the article that you published today. I have been in the fire service for 8 years and I have enjoyed and participated in a fair, equitable and discriminatory free workplace. The heading of this article suggest that there is a culture of sexism in the fire service. This is not true. Any sexism or discrimination directed at any individual is simply not tolerated. We experience the same issues all workplaces must deal with and I can assure you that fairness, equity, understanding and respect is constantly maintained.

We all are fire fighters. We don’t see each other as anything else. Due to our stringent cognitive, psychological and physical standards all firefighters and recruits possess a high level of professionalism that ensures we are capable of fulfilling the requirements of the job.  Knowing the person next to us  is more than capable of fulfilling their duties provides us  safety and reassurance when entering a dangerous environment.

Fire doesn’t discriminate. A fire will burn you no matter what gender or colour you are and that is why we all protect each other without prejudice. We have inherent trust in each other. We have to, because without it there is a greater risk of injury or even death. When you have to trust someone with your life then it is almost impossible to not have an understanding and inherent respect for who they are. This is where the respect for race, religion, sex and creed is developed and fostered.

This is why the inference that we are sexist in ACT Fire Rescue not only offends me it offends my fellow firefighters. It sets out to create a divide between male and female firefighters, a divide that simply doesn’t exist. I have been led by female firefighters through many dangerous circumstances. Gender was never a factor. Their mentoring was a huge influence on my development as a firefighter.

We are in a unique industry that is more like a family and to make false accusations about my brothers and sisters is unacceptable. To quote a report on which the findings have not been released yet is a little remiss.  As a media outlet shouldn’t you be more worried as to why the findings are being withheld. The union and firefighters encourage the release of the Haggar report. If there was a culture of sexism wouldn’t we be the ones wanting to prevent the release of this information?

In regards to increasing the amount of woman in the ACT Fire and Rescue: I think it is brilliant. Campaigns to attract greater numbers of woman should be encouraged and is supported by firefighters. The more firefighters employed the better. The ACT community will benefit as will all current firefighters.  But as the title of the Article suggests, the recruitment of woman shouldn’t be to negate sexism, you should want to recruit woman because they a strong, smart and capable human beings that would bolster and compliment the already great service the ACT Fire and Rescue provides.

In future recruitment campaigns it is imperative that the testing requirements remain the same. These are standards that must be met to become a firefighter to ensure personal safety and the safety of their crew. This is paramount in a workplace that poses a huge amount of risk. The current tests are difficult but not beyond the capabilities of any gender. Therefore to avoid any discrimination recruit colleges should be open to all genders and that way we will achieve the whole purpose of recruitment. To get the most capable person for the job.


Thank you